Tuesday, August 28, 2007

And for some news....


In the wake of the recent bomb blasts in Hyderabad, Government authorities are toying with the idea of recognising terrorist activities and legalising the same. Tenders will be floated in most Indian cities, and bids will be invited from major terrorist organisations from all over the world. The organisation that wins a bid for a clearly demarcated area will have the exclusive rights and permission to organise terrorist activities within the bounded limits of its allotted area. Experts believe this path-breaking step will go a long way in helping terrorist organisations find logistical, financial and infrastructural support and thus, the world will see much better planned operations. Investigations after a terror attack will be restricted to only the organisation which holds the rights to terror for the area.


The strike by the chickens, hens, and cocks of the country has been called off. The Indian poultry is delighted since 90% of hens that had stopped laying eggs during the strike have now resumed the same. The strike was called for in protest after a major Indian embassy official referred to the opponents of the Indo US nuclear deal as 'headless chickens'. The announcement to call off the strike was made after a major Hindi news channel ran the headline "Sansadon ko nahi kaha murga" which when translated into English meant "Parliamentarians not called cocks". The chickens, hens and cocks of the country appeared relieved after the statement by the news channel.


Bollywood film director and acclaimed academician and intellectual Karan Johar has been given honorary citizenship of Manhattan by the government of Manhattan. The honor was bestowed upon Johar after it was suddenly realised that he had done more to promote the culture of the great city of Manhattan than any other human being on earth. It is widely believed that Johar was the first proponent of the notion that whatever is cool has originated in Manhattan. After having associated the word "cool" with Manhattan, it is being speculated that Johar's next project will associate the word 'hot' with San Francisco. Rumour has it that Johar's next film has the current coach of the Indian national women's hockey team Shah Rukh Khan in the lead role with Johar himself playing the opposite lead.


P.S. -> Please take the above with a pinch of salt

Friday, August 10, 2007


We have very religious people in India. Taslima Nasreen had flower pots and chairs thrown at her. Dan Brown had to face flak over the Da Vinci Code (Da Vinci got away because he is dead). A student of art in Baroda was thrown in jail for doing his work assignment. People are so religious we even have riots where people of the other religion are burnt alive.

I wait for the day when riots will break out over other things. Like dietary habits. The day when a news report will go -

The non-vegetarians and the vegetarians were involved in a major clash today. On Highway 16, the vegetarians burnt down a truck carrying 45 non-vegetarians. The National Party of Vegetarians has regretted that a few eggetarians were also burnt in the melee. The Eggeterians and the fishetarians meanwhile, have been trying to form seperate factions of the Non-Vegetarians Alliance.

Thursday, August 02, 2007


Its hard to grumble. Hard to complain. Hard to be sorry.

All you have to do is look out of the window and you will spot someone less fortunate than you are. You could have been him or her. Lucky you. Now smile.

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