Saturday, December 30, 2006

New Year 2007 brouhaha

Will dancing the night away on 31st December make 2007 a better year?
Will making merry on 31st December make the world more peaceful?
Will there be a hangover on the 1st day of 2007 because of the rigorous partying the night before?

Forget the world! Will my going out and partying make me any better or make my life any meaningful or make me feel good? I doubt!!

The way they advertise the New Year in Goa, you cant help but feel January 1st 2007 has been the day the world has longed for!

Will war cease? Will communal tensions decrease? Will something startling happen?
Maybe we should wait and watch.

As for me, i will spend my time with those who mean a lot to me! That makes me feel good!!

Saddam Hussein hanged

I dont know what to make of this! I dont think i am that righteous a person to decide whether Saddam should die or not. Who am i to say someone should die? Who am i to judge and condemn? I am a nobody. Was born as a nobody and no matter how much i achieve and how famous and rich i get, someday when i die, maybe 10 years or 100 years or 500 years down the line, i will be a nobody. No one will remember i existed. Sad, i know, but thats the truth.

Saddam Hussein is dead.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Christmas all the way

Merry Christmas...
Teri Christmas...
Sabki Christmas...

if ..... if only we could focus on the reason behind it all !!!!

Friday, December 22, 2006

the Thali chronicles!!

Ok. I admit it. I cant even finish eating a proper thali.

Every time I tried to finish a thali in the past, i failed. I always told myself that i had eaten something prior to the meal which is why i could not finish it. I dont think that was true, but soothing my bruised ego (when all others at the table gobble everything and you cannot finish half of whats poured in your plate) is important. Excuses, nonetheless, but still, i have always nurtured hope in my heart and dreams in my head of finishing a thali someday.

Yesterday i was confident. I had a cup of tea in the afternoon at around 3.00 which was my lunch and ice cream at about 8.00 in the evening(not exactly dessert). We were at this place called Navtara in the heart of Panjim and hunger was at its peak. We were there at about 10.30 in the evening(night maybe) and inspite of the conditions being so conducive to finishing my first ever thali, i could not.

I guess its just not my meal. For those of you have no idea what a thali is, well, its a meal that never ends. Its got little portions of vegetables, curd, rice, pickles, and what have you and it just is really hard to finish if you are me. The little portions look like copious amounts to me(maybe only to me). There is no fixed procedure or plan of attack, and i thank God, the thali originated in India. I cannot even begin to imagine the intricacies that would have defined the proper eating method if the thali was a British dish. If you are new to the thali, it can be mighty confusing, i tell you. Here is what a typical North Indian thali looks like.

One thing i learnt yesterday. If a little dal accidentally falls into your curd bowl, you dont worry. You consume both, the dal and the curd, anyway. The logic behind the reasoning is that the dal and the curd will get mixed in your stomach after you have had it, so whats the big deal if its gets mixed before?

I would have been the last of the group to finish(We were 11 including little Azrael). Honestly, i was lagging behind, so i gave up midway. If i was gonna wrestle with my plate, it would be a long, tough and time-consuming duel, and i thought finishing last would be silly when you have 5 Australians in the gang who have done a better job with the thali than you have.

I think i wasted a lot of time in thinking what to eat. I mean the array of choices you have is mindboggling, and deciding what curry and vegetable dish i must dip my pieces of roti in took a lot of time. I know its a lame excuse.

Maybe i might give it another shot sometime not so soon.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Dealing with female homosapiens - Ten guidelines

Is it fair for guys to just walk by without even looking at the pretty little girl on the street or wherever, and thereby portray indifference - ignore the existence of someone with a higher BMQ (beauty and make-up quotient)? A similiar question albeit in a different vein. Is it fair to not read the mind of your client/boss and deliver exactly what he/she needs?

The answer to both questions - A resounding NO

Here are 10 guidelines to deal with the female homosapiens (BMQ level is irrelevant) .

1) If she is spotted at a public place, acknowledge her presence by looking at her for the exact amount of time thats appropriate without ignoring or staring (between 2775.06 to 6225.94 milliseconds).

2) If she makes conversation with you, you must feign interest in what she is saying. Agree with all she says, even if she believes the alien in Koi Mil Gaya is hotter than Preity Zinta. If she hates cricket, you better hate it too.

3) When she talks, listen. Because there is a possibility and a very strong one, that she might ask you a question related to the topic. Remember the chastising you got from teachers in school when they posed you questions in the middle of lectures you would sleep through and your subsequent fumbling for answers. The consequences of loss of interest in this case can be far worse.

4) If she decides to subject you to one of her monotonous monologues on topics close to her heart but far from yours, make sure you interject with sounds that convey your approval. Something like "ya" and "oh" and "oh yeah". Just make sure its does not sound like you are constipated or you are at some dirty thing that cannot be mentioned here.

5) If she asks you for your opinion about her blog, tell her she writes great. Her language and her mastery on topics of international significance are admirable. If she puts pictures of herself on her blog, tell her she looks wow in them.

6) If she asks you to write her a testimonial on Orkut, tell her you would love to but you cant because your 'write testimonial' option was deleted by Orkut administrators when you wrote a testimonial for a friend in which you implied Orkut Büyükkökten was mentally retarded.

7) If she is walking, just make sure you clear everything out of her way, to properly conform to the International Institute of Chivalry Standards. That includes opening doors, windows or whatever. Also, make sure you let her walk ahead of you and still hop in the way regularly to clear the path for her whenever she encounters an obstacle whether its a table or a pebble.

8) If she is out at a meal, you must pay. I insist that you must pay. The reason men work is because they can then have the privilege of picking up the tab. So i repeat again, you must pay.

9) If she calls you in the middle of the night, and asks you if you were sleeping, say NO. Tell her you were preparing breakfast or watching Star Plus. Your choice. Chances are good that she will be okay with both.

10) If she asks you to go shopping with her, tell her you would love to come with her to carry the bags and pay for things when she runs out of cash and all, but you cannot because you are having severe constipation problems. Chances are bright she will look for someone else to help her with the bags.

Guys, if you do not adhere to the guidelines, remember this. She has plenty of guy friends to choose from. Indian dating sites have 776 guys for every girl. Whoever said the sex ratio was 976 females per 1000 males was a dreamer. Besides, she has a blog where she discusses the latest parties she went to with regular pictures of her and she has an Orkut account with 6 testimonials that vouch for her hotness and smartness and the complete package she resembles.

As Bill Gates said, "Life is not fair, get on with it." Bill learnt it the hard way perhaps.


By the way, guys, take this with a pinch of salt.
And girls, uh-oh, ahemmm... burrrpp... take this with a bucket of salt.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

"Hows U" scrap on Orkut kills one

"Hows U" -> It is the worst possible scrap you can get on Orkut. I get it too.

So you reply "i'm doing good".

And then to get back at the person who sent that 5 letter scrap that wasted your 300 seconds, you write on his/her scrapbook "Hows u doin?"

And then the resulting scrap is not an answer that ends the formalities normally reserved for formal parties/gatherings/weddings among 50+ year olds with big reputations and even bigger paunches. Its a question again.
"Hows things n all?"

It gets to you. Things are good. I am good too :) . Osama Bin Laden is good. So is George Bush. Our doodhwala is good. And so are all his cows. The Indian cricket team is good too. Seriously. To summarise briefly, things are good and all are good. So things and all are good. Hope you got it. So you reply, as lucidly as you possibly can, fearing any extra words may create more questions in his/her inquisitive mind (you wonder whether your not asking any questions would imply that you are impolite, but you expect the other person to get the cue that you are busy at the moment)

The next thing that happens - Another scrap. No problem. Another scrap question. Big problem. What question
"Great. Hows work"

So u reply
"I died. Came back alive for a brief moment just to tell you that i am dead and i will no longer be answering any more questions. Sorry. No condolence scraps. I warn you. If there are any, i will haunt you all your life, and worse still i will delete your Orkut account. Bye."

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Raju's father

Raju was at school one morning in the outskirts and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Businessman, Captain of Industry etc, but Raju was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly gave the other children some work and took little Raju aside to ask him if that was really true.

"Oh no" said Raju, "He plays cricket for India but I was just too embarrassed to say that."

Sunday, December 10, 2006


It wasn't my fault.
I was just born.
It wasn't an achievement either.

I have never done anything to be born,
not never aware of what went on
I could not choose the date
nor the time nor the place
and still, i was born.

And then they came.
I was given a name, an identity, a language, a religion.
They said i belonged to this caste and that subcaste.
They said i should kill.

They said I must kill the others because they are not like me.
Not of my caste, not my of subcaste,
not of my religion, or my hometown.
They are dirty like pigs they said.
But they were humans.

And I obeyed them. I killed whomever I was told.

Now I see death staring into my face.
A moment and this life will pass.
Cant take anything or anyone with me.
Sad, but is there hope?
Is there something more
that i do not know?
Or is life too, yet another farce??

Thursday, December 07, 2006

WHAT WILL MATTER - Michael Josephson

Juliet D'Souza sent this piece by Michael Josephson to Goanet and I loved it
and thought I should post it here for all.


- Michael Josephson

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will
pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally

So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you
lived on at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your
gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what
you got but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or
sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your

What will matter is not your competence but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will
feel a lasting loss when you're gone.

What will matter is not your memories but the memories that live in
those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a
matter of circumstance but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Dinesh Karthik - Great going!!

India has just won their first ever 20-20 match. Dinesh Karthik has been adjudged the man of the match for scoring a 28-ball 31, with the other contenders for the award being Zaheer Khan who equaled the record for the best economy rate for a 4-over spell in 20-20 Cricket, Virender Sehwag with a 29-ball knock of 34 and Dinesh Mongia with a 38-ball knock of 45 runs.

Dinesh Karthik deserves the award. Being thrusted into a batting lineup as a specialist batsman over other more accomplished batsmen, with bouncy pitches and the South African quicks for company, is not really the kind of introduction a wicketkeeper would hope for. Add to that, the weight of expectations to deliver runs. Add to that, the pressure to succeed in a team of fringe players all competing to impress a whimsical coach hellbent on needless experimentation. All vying to book a place in a dismembered side.

Karthik has stood up to the challenge admirably. He has no qualms of throwing himself around on the outfield and firing throws back to the centre from the outfield. He has walked out to bat when India were 17/3 and 38/3 in the two ODIs he has been involved in on the current tour so far. On both occasions he has fought. Fought hard. And come up with knocks of 14 from 23 balls and 17 from 38 balls. They haven't been match winning knocks, but they are a testimony to the fight in his belly. Playing at a time when Mahendra Singh Dhoni is the numero uno wicketkeeper, can be demoralising for an aspiring wicketkeeper batsman, because displacing Dhoni from the top pedestal is no easy task.

Karthik has shown resolve and application seen only among an elite few on the current tour. Lets hope others pick up the cues. Lets also hope he bats at No 5 and gets some good knocks. Knocks that will hit those who show lack of application at the crease pretty hard. Knocks that will motivate the others to pull up their socks and get down to business.

Lets also hope the rain gods dont intervene. Hope Greg Chappell wont intervene much either with some experimental move yet again. Makhaya Ntini, you too, please dont intervene, and tell the others in your team too.


The guys at CricInfo are giving us the inside news of why Sehwag was dropped from the vice captain's post. They also are the experts on the Ganguly recall. I have a strong feeling they have been watching some saas-bahu serials or taking tips from Ekta Kapoor on how to sustain interest in dead and lost causes.

Take a chill pill! As a fan, I care a diddlysquat for who has the vice captaincy and who is in the playing eleven as long as India wins. Its only when the team is going through a bad patch that imaginative theories about dressing room conspiracies are ideated.

These theories will go to the garbage pin once India starts winning.

As John Wright quotes a South African administrator in Indian Summers, 'In India when you do well in cricket, they name a street after you. And when you dont do well, they will chase you down the same street." Ask Mohammad Kaif!

The message is clear - WIN AND ALL THE GARBLE WILL CEASE!

Friday, December 01, 2006

Rate My Life - Results

This Is My Life, Rated
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

This was taken today - 1st Dec, 2006.

And here are the results of one i took on Mar 30, 2006.

I say not much has changed, or has it?

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The MLM Marketing onslaught !!

I received a phone call this Tuesday from some person who said he wanted to meet me. He said he got my number from another friend. I was not too keen, but I agreed to see him for 10 minutes outside my house. When he came, he insisted we go in and talk, to which I told him, bluntly indeed, that its not possible. He then said he wanted to spend half an hour with me, to explain his 'business project', and he wanted to meet me at my house because that would, in his own words 'minimize distractions'. I gave him a date and time.

I met him today. I had an idea what to expect. I was hoping it would be something different. It was not. I did not know I would be dead right. Throughout the course of conversation, he kept buying time by talking of issues that were in no way relevant to the matter or his 'business project'.

These network marketeers need to rework their strategy. Its become so predictable. And pathetic. I have a feeling they have a reference book, from where they are taught how to entice people into their 'business project'. The lessons in the book go somewhat like what follows.

Suppose you want to convince Mr A.

1) Try to talk about uncertainty. Talk of 9/11. And of stress and heart disease being so common in this hectic world. Tell A thats its always better to have a big bank balance, because you never know what can happen. People die tragic deaths, some die to disease and some to plain bad fortune. If A is not convinced, talk about the risk to A's loved ones. Conclude that money is the key. You need to have it.

(The way they put it, you begin to think, money can actually buy a few more years to live as well)

2) Talk bullshit. Frequently say terms like 'profit', 'net profit', 'passive income', 'millionaires'. Do some rough calculations very fast and arrive at a figure like 3 lakhs a month. Tell A this is the average he/she can earn in 1/2/3/5 years depending on the efforts and time that A wants to invest in the 'business project'. This should make A interested. If he/she is not interested at this point, you have almost lost the battle.

3) Dont tell the name of the company or any details of the business project till the last minute. Never give it out even if pressurised. Thats the key. If A presses for details, tell him/her to read some books and some tapes to get a clearer picture. information about the company and revelation of details of the project are directly proportional to the desire and gullibility of A. The more greedy and convinced A seems, the more details are shared.

4) Remember to explain a few key things

a) All you need is a dream. No experience and no qualifications.
b) Passive income -> Bole toh "no kaam, only income. Aur aaraam
c) Flexible timing

5) If A says he/she is not interested, tell him/her at first even you were in the same boat. You took 1 year to get convinced. Maybe more. Maybe less. Just make sure you convince A that he/she can delay as long as he/she joins. Talk about the 3 month trial offer and how there is nothing to lose. Talk of more books and more tapes and more conferences and more meetings that are "LIFE-CHANGING". Give some imaginative story of a person B who makes X lakhs a months and B is the same age as A and in the same profession too :))


How did I stave off the onslaught?

I wanted to be as polite as I can be. I must confess I was point-blank in my disapproval, which is not very characteristic of me. I usually beat around the bush for a while, expecting the other person to pick up the cues. That did not happen this time around.

I told him I have no time. He was not convinced, and when into details of how each one can make time. Reason one did not work the way I expected. Unable to get my point across, I went to the second reason, the-i-suck-at-convincing-people reason. So I dont expect to make much headway in his 'business project' because people do not buy my side of the story. Wrong shot, again. After hearing him out, I took him head-on. I told him I know about his Corporation and I read all about it here.

That put him off track. He was stumped(thankfully). He was not finished yet. He wanted some references. I told him I have none. He insisted and it was quiet for about 2 minutes, when I realised its better to give some references and do away with this because he would not leave without them. So I fiddled with my phone and I gave him two numbers (sorry Rodley, sorry Maria).

He left. After 45 mins and 2 scribbled pages of my notebook, I had staved it off. Phew!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Balcao gossip and the need for more people to join in

Why are neighbours so curious?

I have no idea why they are so interested in what's going on in their neighbour, Mr/Ms ABC's life. ABC does not even bother to glance in their direction if he/she were to pass them by, but their interest in ABC never diminishes. If they had to put their curiosity and interest in the right place and in the right things, perhaps, they would have helped the cause of science with some pathbreaking discovery or invention. They would have ranked up there with Einstein and Newton and Edison. But alas! while Einstein focussed on relativity and Newton on gravity, their focus is gibberish. Anyways, much to the chagrin of ABC, and probably loss to science and mankind, their specialised area of interest and study is ABC's life and works. Dont lose heart, you can be the topic of their interest too. You only have to live in their neighbourhood! Thats all it takes to arouse their attention.

Would any of you be interested in sharing the responsibilities of neighbours ? Read on for more details


Goa has a tradition of 'Balcao' gossipping. The Balcao is the front porch in most Goan houses with cemented seats where neighbours congregate in the evening to discuss news and views and reviews on whats happening in the 'vaddo'(ward or street) and world. Conversation varies from Saddam Hussein to the present government and Salazar to the antics of the neighbouring wench who has been inviting the 'poder' (the man who sells bread house to house on his cycle) over for a cup of tea every morning as soon as he finishes with his rounds and hubby dearest has left for work and so on. Local affairs are discussed in more detail. World and national and state issues rank a very poor second when compared to local chinwag.

Speculations are rife, and rumours abound everywhere. Hearsay attains a lot of prominence. No one sees anything wrong in propagating a complete falsehood just for the sake of extra spice. Stories have all the elements, emotions and twists of TV soap operas. When the church bells toll at 7 in the evening, all move to their homes for Angelus, so the session is abandoned for the day to be resumed tomorrow, but not with everyone going home entertained, wisened and happy.

In recent times, Balcao gabfests do not occur with the same frequency and enthusiasm as maybe 10 years earlier. Not because of disinterest, but more because of lack of time. Most people have jobs to attend to, and children to look after. Those lucky enough, and devoid of other chores, happily engage and practice their story telling and listening skills. On the panel of these rather comprehensive discussion board (gossip balcao) are some distinguished and elderly ladies, and a few younger ones being groomed to take on the mantle of head panelists once the older ones fade away.

To keep up the tradition there is a need of young people (ideally female) to carry on the responsibities of balcao gossipping.


You need to have the following

1) Time - Lots of it. More than that, you should not have hobbies or interests that you can devote your extra time too. This way, the gossipping balcao group will not feel threatened that you may want to jump to something else sometime later as attrition sets in.

2) Curiosity - You must be born with it. Importantly, you must be curious about people, relationships, work and issues relevant to the topics of discussion, and strive to keep topics hotter and in vogue. Each time you unearth something, it will be your responsibility to organise a gabfest.

3) Garrulous - You must be blessed with the gift of the gab, demonstrating both flattery to induce people to part with their secrets and a scheming and conniving mind. It is tricky, but whoever said practice makes a man/woman perfect, was right and practice is what will help you get it right.

4) Imaginative - A fertile mind, exploring always the possibility of adding spice to make a hot topic even hotter and lip-smacking. Your ingenuity must be top notch if you aspire to become a head panelist someday.

Any takers?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Play it safe!!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Doing 69 with your customers

Kya aapne apne grahakon ke saath 69 kiya hai? (Have you done the 69 with your customers?)

KTC -> Believe it or not

This is again about the Kadamba Transport Corporation shuttle buses and their stupefying conundrums.

->When there are passengers in the queue, there is no bus.

->When there is a bus, there are no passengers in the queue.

->When there are about 100 passengers in the queue to Panaji, and none in the Margao queue, the only bus present goes to Margao.

->When there are about 100 passengers in the queue to Margao, and none in the Panaji queue, the only bus present goes to Panaji.

->When there are passengers and buses both present, (sometimes and rarely there are times when) there are no drivers.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

First breakdown .. boy!! am i excited or what?

Today was D-day.

After travelling to Vasco from Panaji and back daily for close to 4 months now, i had the experience of my first bus breakdown. After watching other buses conk out midway through the journey, today was our day. It was imminent.

Word of appreciation for the guys at KTC - we were in the new bus in 20 minutes of the breakdown.

Previous posts on KTC
1) My Chronicles with KTC - 1
2) Synchronised Sleeping

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Conversation pointers..

A few tips to good conversation on The Positivity Blog

1) Listen well
2) Dont hog the spotlight
3) Dont fight to be right
4) Reciprocate

More tips and the full article here.

For the foodies!

Here is something that might motivate you to apply for work at Google.

An employee at Google has taken photos of his food plate at Google for sometime now. For the benefit of those who are curious to know what they need to eat to write those search algorithms, also for some foodies who hate seeing pictures of cooked food because the pictures cant be eaten as well as for those who think dieting means looking at pictures and moving on to reality, also for the rest who are not bought food everyday by their employers; he has posted those pictures on the internet.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Microsoft Firefox

Firefox has been bought by Microsoft to create msfirefox - the world's best browser. Check it out.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Synchronised Sleeping!

Synchronized Swimming is an Olympic Sport.

I just discovered a new sport. Its called Synchronized Sleeping.

Synchronized Sleeping involves either individuals or groups combining calmness, endurance, flexibility, grace and artistry with exceptional breath control while sleeping on the last seat of the Kadamba Transport Corporation bus.

The masters and legends of Synchronized Sleeping board the early morning shuttle to Vasco from Panjim.

If the sychronised sleeping team is on the last seat, brace yourself for an amazing display of rhythmic coordination and grace, in tune with the jerks of the bus and, and in complete harmony with the movements of fellow teammates.

The driver of the bus is the trainer and chief coach of the team and he directs every move of his team that is sprawled tightly on the last seat. Every time the driver swerves the bus jerks, there is a corresponding display of finesse from the team of synchronised sleepers on the last seat, who sway in unison to the left or right.

The sport is becoming popular not only with Indian Olympic officials who seem to have a solution to their Olympic medal drought, but also has huge potential with popular dance choreographers in Bollywood and current celebrity dance reality shows.

We hope the legacy of these synchronised sleepers lives on and on and on ..

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Reality Shows

I am not a big fan of Roadies on MTV. The concept is great, bikes, roads, tasks, vote-outs so it has everything.

The inaugural run always arouses my curiosity in most reality shows and the loss of interest after the initial hoopla is habitual.

This year though, i loved watching the auditions of MTV Hero Honda Roadies 4. I have never seen the auditions and interviews before. It was a delight to see the wannabe roadies getting marooned royally.

Most reality shows with an unique concept will do well in the first year. The attempt to carry on over to milk the cow till it drops dead is actually an attempt to gag audiences with "watch this bull-shit because there is nothing else you can do, can you?".

Which is why there are all pretty much avoidable. Celebrities or no celebrities, they all suck.

Rumours like these dont help their cause

I am willing to put my money on Big Boss doing well.

the personification of hope

This latest twist to the Jessica Lall case got me thinking.

Suppose i am a journalist interviewing Ram Jethmalani.

Something similar to this interview. (video link / transcript)

One question for the Jethmalani rebel. Assuming i am an ignoramus infront of a legal hippopotamus. Suppose there is a cameraman near Jethmalani. I take a gun and shoot him dead. Not only do i shoot him dead, i make sure that Mr. Rebellious-Boy-Lawyer can see me shooting him dead. Also, before shooting the cameraman, i tell Mr. Saviour-Of-The-Condemned that i have come with intentions to shoot the cameraman and i will do it.

Now, if i approach The-greatest-legal-Know-all-that-has-graced-planet-Earth-since-947-BC to defend me in court, will he agree????

Fees barabar, sab barabar, kya khayaal hai Mamu??

Friday, November 03, 2006

NEVER GIVE UP -> Never Ever!!!!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

We are smarter than Me

Make way for "Crowd-sourcing"

Roles reversed

The roles were reversed yesterday.

For a change, and a very welcome one, Australia choked yesterday towards the end of the match and frittered away a match they could have easily won.

Nothing like a nice upset to inject interest into a quotidian tournament.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Priyadarshini Mattoo, Arumugam Kounder and India's judicial system

On the 23rd of January 1996, a Delhi University student by the name of Priyadarshini Mattoo was found murdered at her Vasant Kunj flat in south Delhi.

A trial court in 1999 had acquitted the accused, Santosh Singh, a lawyer by profession, citing lack of evidence even though the judge admitted he knew that Santosh was the killer.

10 years and almost 10 months later after the day of the crime, on the 17th of October 2006, justice was served. The killer was convicted by a High Court, after the trial courts decision was termed as one "that shocked the conscience of the judiciary". Chronology of events in the case

The case captured national headlines and prime airtime on news channels, because of the gruesomeness of the crime and the callousness of the investigating authorities.

The judgement brings a ray of hope to cases like the Jessica Lall case, and others.


Yesterdays HT carried a story of a 45 year old man Arumugam Kounder who came to Mumbai to work. He was Tamil, knew no English, Hindi or Marathi and was arrested in a rape case of a minor. He was poor, and was innocent. He was not aware of the charges that are levelled against him.

Kounder was arrested just three months after he arrived in Mumbai from Tamil Nadu, hoping to find a good job. He was working as a civic garbage cleaner at the time he was charged with rape and murder.

He spent 11 and a half years in prison before he was freed because the Inspector who implicated him left a note before committing suicide that he had falsely implicated Kounder on the orders of a senior officer.


I leave you to ponder over the cases.

For every known Mattoo, Lal and Katara, there are a dozen other nondescript men and women who have been killed and their killers never been convicted.

A Google search on Arumugam Kounder yields no results. Which is not the case with 'Priyadarshini Mattoo'.

So many innocent people like Arumugam Kounder languish in jails for crimes they have never committed.

Think over it. Some food for thought. And, say a prayer or two for the Indian judicial system, one that takes the responsibility of imparting justice and fairness in the world's largest democracy.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leavin home.

I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. Ive been findin real passion with Randy n he is so nice 2 me. I know when u meet him ull like him too - even wit all his piercin, tattoos, n motorcycle clothes.But its not only d passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said tht he wants me 2 hav the kid n tht v can be very happy
together. Even though Randy is much older than me (neway, 42 isnt so old these
days is it?) and has no money, really these things shouldnt stand in d way of our relationship, dont u agree?

Randy has a gr8 CD collectn; he already owns a trailer in the woods n has a stack of firewood 4 d whole winter.Its true he has othr girlfrnds as well but I know he'll be faithful 2 me in his own way. He wants to have many more children wit me and thats now 1 of my
dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves ! it!!

Dont worry Dad, Im 15 yrs old now n I knw how 2 take care of myself. Someday Im sure we'll be back to visit so u can get 2 knw ur grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,


PS: Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at the neighbour's house.
I jus wantd to remind you tht thr r worse things in life than my report
card that's in my desk centre drawer!

Thursday, October 12, 2006


Monday, October 09, 2006

Kingfisher Gas Cylinders

What if Vijay Mallya gets into the LPG Gas business??

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Lessons for budding entrepreneurs

1. It always takes a long time to establish a company.

2. It always costs more (than you thought it would) to start a company.

3. We need leaders, not managers, for an enterprise to succeed.

4. Perseverance pays. You have to believe in what you are creating, and keep the faith. In 2001, many people told us we were over, but we are still here.

5. History does not always repeat itself.

6. Communication is key. Listening is extremely important. You should have the ability to listen to your employees.

7. Be prepared for the culture factor in the US and in India, though a lot of cross-pollination has taken place by now.

8. In good times, be prepared for the bad times. Good times will not last forever. Business is cyclical.

For more click here

Friday, September 29, 2006


Name the ten wealthiest men in the world.

Name the last ten Wimbledon trophy winners.

Name the last ten winners of the Miss Universe contest.

Name eight people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

How about the last ten Academy Award winners for best picture?

How did you do? I didn't do well either. With the exception of you trivia hounds, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday too well.

Surprising how quickly we forget, isn't it? And what I've mentioned above are no second-rate achievements. These are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one.

Think of three people you enjoy spending time with.

Name ten people who have taught you something worthwhile.

Name five friends who have helped you in a difficult time.

List a few teachers who have aided your journey through school.

Name half-a-dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier? ? ?

It was for me, too.

The lesson?
The people who make a difference are not the ones with the credentials, but the ones with the concern.

--- Max Lucado

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Bend it like Lampard

Frank Lampard, John Terry, Jose Mourinho have decided to star in Bollywood movies.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Gaby Baby..

I have had my share of sporting paragons.

I have faint memories of Diego Maradona holding the World Cup 1986. In 1990, i was an Argentina addict. I still am. I will always be. It was Maradona then. Later, it was Batistuta, Simeone, Riquelme, Tevez, Messi. Argentina it will always be.
I remember how mad i got at my mom for not waking me up to watch Argentina get past Brazil in the quarterfinal thru Claudio Caniggia strike off a Maradona pass.

I was a Gaby addict too(I suspect it was the Argentina hangover!). Gabriela Sabatini was my boyhood crush. As a seven year old, i supported her passionately in every game she played. I hated going to school the next morning if she lost. I would cry if she did. I hated Steffi Graf for beating Gaby. She looked stunning(she still does)...

Dont get to see Gaby as much now, but i havent cheered any other woman tennis player (i am a Pete Sampras fan) as much as i passionately supported Gaby.

By the way, she is 36 and single..

Sunday, September 24, 2006

My chronicles with KTC - Part 1

The Kadamba Transport Corporation (KTC) is Goa's state-owned transport corporation.

Goa has 5 major cities/towns(that is what i was taught in school). Mapusa is the northernmost, 13 kms to the south of which lies the capital Panaji. Further almost equidistant to the capital, about 30-35 kms away, lie Margao, Vasco and Ponda to the south, south west and east of Panaji respectively.

The bus routes from Panaji-Margao and Panaji-Vasco have only KTC buses plying along them. Passengers have two options - one, travel in the bus that stops all along the way to pick up passengers on the route(these are normally old buses, jittery and screaking periodically, like a 56 year old running the second marathon of his athetic career, frequently needing water breaks) and two, board the shuttles (faster, smoother like a 21 year old waiting on the bench at his first soccer game all raring to go) at either place and travel directly to your destination without any halts on the way. I chose the latter option.

I decided to buy a monthly bus pass which enables me to bypass any queues for shuttle tickets and walk straight up to the counter, present my pass and a ticket is reserved. Not only does this give me a feeling of self importance but it also happens to be convenient for a regular commuter who usually spends more time in the queue than in the bus. Using my infinite wisdom, i got my sister to laminate the pass for me after i bought it. Goa's monsoons can get the most intimately hidden things wet, and laminating it was the best idea that had come to my mind since the disposing the garbage in the garbage dump last Christmas. I got my pass nicely done with the lamination, and it was plastic coated, hard and crisp.

With a spring in my step, a song in my head, the smell of fresh cowdung in my nose and the pass in the pocket of my shirt so (and so very) close to my heart, i walked up to the ticket counter to swank my pass. Imagine my horror, when they told me my pass was useless! Why ?? Because they could not mark on it using their ball point pen. They had to strike off the date to make sure i dont indulge in my fantasy of travelling by the shuttle to and fro all day, and can travel either way just once each day. To strike off the date they used a 3 year-or-so old ball pen which was just not penetrative enough for the plastic coating on my pass. The ball pen was the KTC method of saying how they love the good old days of yore when punching a pass meant marking on it with a pen.

My pass was so adamant, it could be not stripped of the plastic coating. The coating and the pass had developed some romantic affinity for reach other, and it was like either both go or none go! So i was given two options by the KTC 1) Buy a new pass 2) Remove the lamination. There was no way out they said. I consulted some astrologers and numerologists (including the world famous Baba Halwai Haldighattiwale currently staying at Room 103 of City Lodge).

I could ask for a duplicate pass. I could convince them using fact or fiction to issue me one. Fact in this case was not as dramatic as fiction. That meant explaining to the staff at the KTC main office the real story. Great people care nothing for facts. They dont pursue their futures using facts, they create it using just about anything. All the people i had spoken to about the pass problem and told them all the facts, had laughed at me. They guffawed in such a manner, as though i was caught scratching my crotch on camera. Will Gandhigiri work?
Another alternative was taking the fiction way out and fabricating a i-lost-my-pass story and here is my receipt and please issue me another pass after offering your condolences. The issue with this was that i had to prove my pass my lost. I could have hired a lawyer to do that, but i thought i'd rather not spend on a lawyer. So i figured the way was tedious.

Glenda suggested i use a marker pen and ask them to mark the pass. So i took that way out. KTC guys have this absolute aversion to change. Some hold my marker as though it was some dynamite stick that can detonate any moment. The ego of the ball point pen has been hurt though and i have not enjoyed it.

Lessons learnt from the pass failure fiasco
1) Logic, commonsense, facts are alien in a world where rules taught 20 years ago still are the norm.
2) Avoid hurting a ball point pen's ego.
3) Never laminate paper.
4) De-lamination machines is a good idea.
5) Lawyers are more expensive than i thought.

Friday, September 22, 2006

SMS Joke

Student's Father : How is this engineering college?
Peon : Very good, sir. I studied here only.

How they make love in India??

So you wanna know how they make love in India, read on.

Wondering how we procreate and reproduce, actually there is a science behind it. We need flowers for it. When two flowers get intimidatingly close, thats when we reproduce!!

What? Here is a slideshow of Bollywood's steamiest moments.

Yeah man..

Xabi Alonso goal vs Newcastle

Watch this goal...
Xabi Alonso's long ranger finds the mark!!!!!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Overheard in Hyderabad

Geek meets old college crush visiting Hyderabad.

Girl: So what have you been upto?
Geek: Lots actually! Been working at _______ Technologies for a year now. Lots of fun, chilling out!! What about you?
Girl: Came here on a work assignment. Will be leaving Sunday evening!
Geek: Cool! Why dont we meet up on Saturday?
Girl: Nothing much, dont have many friends here. What do you do on weekends usually?
Geek: I go to office..
Girl: Oh ok! Dont you work on weekdays ?
Geek: I do!! Thats when we work hard. Weekends i go to the office to chill out!!
Girl: Office on weekends?
Geek: Maybe you can join me this Saturday
Girl: at your office??
Geek: Yeah. Its fun. I'll show you where i work and what i do..
Girl: Actually (geek's name), we have an office outing planned so i am not sure but will let you know!!


Friday, September 15, 2006

Bring on Sharapova

I know her rankings are dropping (70 currently from a career best 31 a year ago). But Sania Mirza looks stunning in this ad for Sprite. And i have no idea why they need Bollywood starlets for advertisements.

Wanna get laid??

Some weeks ago, the Hindustan Times in its Sunday Brunch magazine carried an article that portrayed the online dating psyche of the Indian male.

One of the 'finds' of the article was the amazingly (and depressingly!) low responses single Indian guys managed to draw by posting ads on common dating and social networking sites like Fropper and Orkut seeking female company. This was attributed partially to their Brobdingnagian obsession with sex, which puts off women so enormously that prefer chimpanzees instead.

The Indian male has company. According to this, his counterparts elsewhere are no different.

Boys will be boys. Men will be men. Chimpanzees will be lucky!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

How to catch a lion - Different methods

Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.

Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping!

Mani Ratnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George Bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tires and surrender's

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


1. India is the world's largest, oldest, continuous civilization.

2. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.

3. India is the world's largest democracy.

4. Varanasi, also known as Benares, was called "the ancient city" when Lord Buddha visited it in 500 B.C.E, and is the oldest, continuously inhabited city in the world today.

5. India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

6. The World's first university was established in Takshashila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.

7. Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software - a report in Forbes magazine, July 1987.

8. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Charaka, the father of medicine consolidated Ayurveda 2500 years ago. Today Ayurveda is fast regaining its rightful place in our civilization.

9. Although modern images of India often show poverty and lack of development, India was the richest country on earth until the time of British invasion in the early 17th Century. Christopher Columbus was attracted by India's wealth.

10. The art of Navigation was bornin the river Sindhu 6000 years ago. The very word Navigation is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH. The word navy is also derived from Sanskrit 'Nou'.

11. Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart. Time taken by earth to orbit the sun: (5th century) 365.258756484 days.

12. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians.

13. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th century. The largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Hindus used numbers as big as 10**53(10 to the power of 53) with specific names as early as 5000 BCE during the Vedic period. Even today, the largest used number is Tera 10**12(10 to the power of 12).

14. IEEE has proved what has been a century old suspicion in the world scientific community that the pioneer of wireless communication was Prof. Jagdish Bose and not Marconi.

15. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.

16. According to Saka King Rudradaman I of 150 CE a beautiful lake called Sudarshana was constructed on the hills of Raivataka during Chandragupta Maurya's time.

17. Chess (Shataranja or AshtaPada) was invented in India.

18. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted complicated surgeries like cesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery. Usage of anesthesia was well known in ancient India. Over 125 surgical equipment were used. Deep knowledge of anatomy, physiology, etiology, embryology, digestion, metabolism, genetics and immunity is also found in many texts.

19. When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilization).

20. The four religions born in India, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism, are followed by 25% of the world's population.

21. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.

22. India is one of the few countries in the World, which gained independence without violence.

23. India has the second largest pool of Scientists and Engineers in the World.

24. India is the largest English speaking nation in the world.

25. India is the only country other than US and Japan, to have built a super computer indigenously.

Famous Quotes on India (by non-Indians)

* Albert Einstein said: We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
* Mark Twain said: India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
* French scholar Romain Rolland said: If there is one place on the face of earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.
* Hu Shih, former Ambassador of China to USA said: India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.

Facts to make every Indian proud

Q. Who is the co-founder of Sun Microsystems?
A. Vinod Khosla

Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the
today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm

Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Aziz Premji,
who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th
position now.

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web
based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator
of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
A. Rajiv Gupta

Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000,
responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.

We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even
faring better than the whites and the natives.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Ideas ....

I have just witnessed an engaging debate on ownership of intellectual property on one of the forums i subscribe to.

Some months ago, a few friends of mine had come up with some ideas to revolutionise the sagging morale of businesses in Goa by using the internet to obtain a wider target audience. Knowing how easy it is to put up a web service that helps people pool in their resources and make things work for the good of the community, the ideas kept getting reworked till a new draft emerged that did not resemble the original idea at all.

Some guy who was mailed a copy of the initial plan forwarded it to mailing groups left, right and centre and worse was.. it had my name as the author below. The guy who did this tremendously magnificient job is a well meaning guy whose enthusiasm to come up with something new far exceeded his intelligence.

Ideas amount to nothing if not implemented into suitable products or services. Get that clear and straight. Frankly, you may have the best ideas in the world on paper but that paper is worth a roll of toilet paper if those ideas never come out of that paper and become products/services.

Why is this tirade about ideas?? I chanced about this post by Rajesh Shetty and just felt like letting loose!!

Monday, September 04, 2006

exposure trips for leaders and death for the farmers

Farmers in Vidharbha are desperate. Poverty and crop failure translates to one suicide every 8 hours.

In such circumstances, junkets like these are not going to solve any problems for farmers nor turn Mumbai into Shanghai..

Maharashtra State debt: Rs 1 lakh cr, junket cost: Rs 3 cr

Carry on ministers!!!

Saturday, September 02, 2006


Rabindranath Tagore on Vande Mataram

Hindutva gives India its identity. It is what differentiates us from the rest. But the hallmark of a great nation is its soul, its character and its identity is just a part of the soul. India's soul lies in its diversity. The manner in which India has thrived with so many different people having different cultures, languages, religions is a testimony to its great character.

Which is why the recent Vande Mataram controversy is a pain.

Seperatist politics and votebank politics go hand in hand. Earlier the debate was about partition. Today its about alienation to consolidate votebanks.

The problem existed long ago. So long ago that in a letter to Subhash Chandra Bose in 1937, Rabindranath Tagore discusses the problem. Most of what he said then applies today.

The core of 'Vande Mataram' is a hymn to goddess Durga: this is so plain that there can be no debate about it. Of course Bankim does show Durga to be inseparably united with Bengal in the end, but no Mussulman [Muslim] can be expected patriotically to worship the ten-handed deity as 'Swadesh' [the nation]. This year many of the special [Durga] Puja numbers of our magazines have quoted verses from 'Vanda Mataram' - proof that the editors take the song to be a hymn to Durga. The novel Anandamath is a work of literature, and so the song is appropriate in it. But Parliament is a place of union for all religious groups, and there the song can not be appropriate. When Bengali Mussulmans show signs of stubborn fanaticism, we regard these as intolerable. When we too copy them and make unreasonable demands, it will be self-defeating."

"Bengali Hindus have become agitated over this matter, but it does not concern only Hindus. Since there are strong feelings on both sides, a balanced judgement is essential. In pursuit of our political aims we want peace, unity and good will - we do not want the endless tug of war that comes from supporting the demands of one faction over the other."

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Thats why i succeed - Michael Jordan

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

Michael Jordan

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Tourists in Goa

I have categorised the Indian tourists who visit Goa into three broad types. Here is a brief description of each..

1) Single and available guys =>

These type wear Goa Beach T-shirts and stare at every girl they can get their eyes on. They come to Goa believing that Goa is some kind of an Axeland with bikini babes and hot parties and lots of booze thrown together. The ones from neighbouring states and down south travel in a jeep or SUV all cramped together with hardly any space to move a finger. Some hire bikes and make their presence felt by doing all that mummy said dont do. One of the best places to spot such a breed is on the beaches ogling at sun bathing white - skinned travellers while the more adventurous ones venture into the water and try to make conversation and get closer to western babes in the Arabian Sea. I have a feeling they go home disappointed at not really getting what they came here for, and for believing Pappu the braggart's cooked up stories of his exploits with hot babes in Goa. Anyways, they do go home lighter(on the wallet) and more sensible(hopefully!) and with some extra masala-packaged fiction for Pappu.

2) Couples =>
These are a very distinct and easily recognisable breed. Most of these types are newly married which explains the combination of micro-minis and tons of red bangles. Fashion etiquette is thrown out of the window, and everything Mummy and Daddy had prohibited before marriage(I am talking about the clothes) is on full display. The men hate it when their wife stops in front of the beach shops to buy not-needed and not-wearable in hometown clothes that have price tags especially crafted for the European pockets. The BTMs (Behenji-turned-Mods) make sure they do and wear everything they cannot wear back home. And if the couple is not newly married, they must be some corporate couple out for a break from their hectic schedules or a couple who believe that variety is the spice of life and seek confidential interference.

3) Families and big groups=>
They come in groups in special tour buses. They are so many in number, i think they bring the entire village along. Every conceivable colour the human eye can detect is hidden somewhere in this very colourful, and vibrant procession of tourists. Their decibel level is unmatched, and they want to be the cynosure of all eyes. And you can hear them cribbing about how their hometown is better and cleaner than Goa. The grumbling never stops. Or you have these groups of college goers who are come on some kind of a tour and they look like they have just emerged from the sea(Samundar mein nahake aur bhi namkeen and all ...). Sometimes though, its just the smaller " hum do hamare do " group. There is Pappu ke pita, Pappu ki maa, Pappu and Chintu. Such groups are more argument friendly and more grumpy.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Microsoft v/s General Motors

Another forwarded mail here


At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part, esp
7th point):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only
five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation"
warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Reservations and Quotas

I have been getting some hilarious forwards..

Cant help but post them ..


The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

BBC, CNN, EURO-NEWS, NDTV, FOX NEWS show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper.

Opposition MP's stage a walkout.

Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC,CNN, AAJTAK and NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice".

Sonia invites the grasshopper to address the Parliament .......

Got The Answer...???

YES... You Got It Right...

Some call it RESERVATION n Some call it QUOTA!

Friday, August 25, 2006

We love you Microsoft

Stars are blind..

Paris Hilton has a reputation, we all know.

The video of her song 'stars are blind' has been played on Indian TV and it is not half as bad as some of the sleazy crap that gets on Indian TV.

The CBFC has issued it a 'A' certificate which means it will not be aired on Indian TV henceforth.

Guys, get a life.. Its just a music video (not starring Rick Salomon). If at all you do decide to ban the thing, apply the same yardstick to other videos (includes Rakhi Sawant videos as well) coz they are just as much a corrupting influence on the unspoilt and chaste viewers of Indian TV.

By the way, the Indian censor board has a reputation too...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Unlucky Indian hockey - on and off the field

Something about Indian hockey just does not seem right. We have lost out on our attacking flair, in trying to cope up with the astro-turf surface and are seemingly relying on grooming one dimensional players in the Sohail Abbas mould - the so called penalty corner specialists. Post the Dhanraj Pillay era and an Arjun Halappa will not match a Pillay unless you are talking about the hairstyle, the penalty corner conversions hold a great deal of significance.

And when you have a player like Sandeep Singh with an above 50% success rate in penalty corners indisposed in a freak accident and unable to take the field, it just gets harder.

First Jugraj's car accident and now Sandeep.

This should be an opportunity for the team to prove the critics and there is no better time than now.

Pak tearing their 'hair' out!!

The latest controversy in world cricket has brought to the forefront the issue of ball tampering. Fingers of suspicion being pointed at Darrell Hair's dubious record and traditional 'tamperers' Pakistan by opposing lobbies. It is but natural that Australia will stand by their umpire, backed by the ECB. Which means that the Asia powerhouses will unite to stand by Pakistan. Asia is where the moolah is which means a compromise will ultimately be worked out in due course of time.

The racism card is being played out again. As if the Dean Jones fluff wasn't enough, this is an issue which can be done without and which world cricket does not need. The media will add to the histrionics.

On a positive note (faintly positive though), it has brought the opinions of umpires to the forefront. The unsung heroes are finally getting faint shades of spotlight. Indian umpires Piloo Reporter, K. Hariharan, Ram Gupta for once are finding their opinions sought by the media.

The issue is not about Inzamam's honour or Hair's pride or Woolmer tugging the middle line, but whether an individual is greater than a country. My guess is its a non issue till something major crops up like Australians or Englishmen subjected to racial taunts or unfair umpiring or doctored pitches while on tour in the subcontinent. Now that will definitely snow ball into an issue.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

"We need a transformation"

Justice VR Krishna Iyer in an interview to Rediff

Do you have hope in the new generation of India?

That is my only hope. Let us hope the generation will do something about bringing radical changes in Independent India. Ambedkar once said: 'Every generation is a new nation.' So this new generation of India may be a new nation with new ideas.
India cannot be changed by old men like me. But certainly India can be changed by the new generation. I have hope in them. We need a transformation, which has to be through the young. The young are going to be in a majority shortly in India. Let us take the young into our fold and make them feel India is ours.

Here is the full interview

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


There are 3.22 Million Indians in America.
38% of Doctors in America are Indians.
12% of Scientists in America are Indians.
36% of NASA employees are Indians.
34% of MICROSOFT employees are Indians.
28% of IBM employees are Indians.
17% of INTEL employees are Indians.
13% of XEROX employees are Indians.
You may know some of these facts. These
facts were recently published in a German
Magazine, which deals with

India never invaded any country in her last
100000 years of history.
India invented the Number System.
Aryabhatta invented zero.
The World's first university was established in
Takshila in 700BC.More than 10,500 students from
all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The
University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC
was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India
in the field of education.
Sanskrit is the mother of all the European
languages. Sanskrit is the most suitable language
for computer software reported in Forbes magazine,
July 1987.

Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine
known to humans. Charaka, the father of medicine
consolidated Ayurveda 2500 years ago. Today
Ayurveda is fast regaining its rightful place
in our civilization.
Although modern images of India often show
poverty and lack of development, India was the
richest country on earth until the time of
British invasion in the early 17th Century.
The art of Navigation was born in the river
Sindh 6000 years ago.
The very word Navigation is derived from
the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH.
The Word navy is also derived from Sanskrit 'Nou'.

Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the
earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the
astronomer Smart.; Time taken by earth to orbit
the sun: (5th century) 365.258756484 days.
Budhayana first calculated the value of pi, and
he explained the concept of what is known as the
Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the
6th century long before the European mathematicians
Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from
India; Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the
11th century ; The largest numbers the
Greeks and the Romans
used were 10 6(10 to the power of 6) whereas
Hindus Used numbers as big as 1053 (10 to the
power of 53) with specific names as Early as 5000 BCE
during the Vedic period. Even today, the largest
used number is Tera 1012(10 to the power of 12).

According to the Gemological Institute of
America, up until 1896,India was the only source for
diamonds to the world.
USA based IEEE has proved what has been a
century-old suspicion in the world scientifi
community that the pioneer of Wireless
communication was Prof. Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi.

The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was
built in Saurashtra. According to Saka King
rudradaman I of 150 CE a beautiful lake
called 'Sudarshana'
was constructed on the hills of Raivataka during
Chandragupta Maurya's time.

Chess (Shataranja or AshtaPada) was invented in India.

Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600
years ago he and health scientists of his time
conducted complicated surgeries like cesareans,
cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary
stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery. Usage
of anesthesia was well known in ancient India.
Over 125 surgical equipment were used. Deep
knowledge of anatomy, etiology, embryology, digestion,
metabolism, genetics and immunity is also found
in many texts.

When many cultures were only nomadic forest
dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians
established Harappan culture in Sindhu
Valley (Indus Valley Civilization)
The place value system, the decimal system
was developed in India in 100 BC.


Albert Einstein said: We owe a lot to the
Indians, who taught us how to count, without
which no worthwhile scientific discovery could
have been made.
Mark Twain said: India is the cradle of the
human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother
of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great
grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most
structive materials in the history of man are treasured
up in India only.
French scholar Romain Rolland said: If there is
one place on the face of earth where all
the dreams of living men have found a home from
the very earliest days when man began the dream
of existence, it is India.
Hu Shih, former Ambassador of China to USA said:
India conquered And dominated China culturally
for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single
soldier across her border.
All the above is just the TIP of the iceberg, the
list could be endless. BUT, if we don't see even a
glimpse of that great India in the India That we see
today, it
clearly means that we are not working up to our
Potential and that if we do, we could once
again; be an ever shining and Inspiring country
setting a bright path for rest of the world to follow.
I Hope you enjoyed it and work towards the welfare
of INDIA. PROUD to be an INDIAN.

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