Friday, September 29, 2006


Name the ten wealthiest men in the world.

Name the last ten Wimbledon trophy winners.

Name the last ten winners of the Miss Universe contest.

Name eight people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.

How about the last ten Academy Award winners for best picture?

How did you do? I didn't do well either. With the exception of you trivia hounds, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday too well.

Surprising how quickly we forget, isn't it? And what I've mentioned above are no second-rate achievements. These are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one.

Think of three people you enjoy spending time with.

Name ten people who have taught you something worthwhile.

Name five friends who have helped you in a difficult time.

List a few teachers who have aided your journey through school.

Name half-a-dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.

Easier? ? ?

It was for me, too.

The lesson?
The people who make a difference are not the ones with the credentials, but the ones with the concern.

--- Max Lucado

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Bend it like Lampard

Frank Lampard, John Terry, Jose Mourinho have decided to star in Bollywood movies.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Gaby Baby..

I have had my share of sporting paragons.

I have faint memories of Diego Maradona holding the World Cup 1986. In 1990, i was an Argentina addict. I still am. I will always be. It was Maradona then. Later, it was Batistuta, Simeone, Riquelme, Tevez, Messi. Argentina it will always be.
I remember how mad i got at my mom for not waking me up to watch Argentina get past Brazil in the quarterfinal thru Claudio Caniggia strike off a Maradona pass.

I was a Gaby addict too(I suspect it was the Argentina hangover!). Gabriela Sabatini was my boyhood crush. As a seven year old, i supported her passionately in every game she played. I hated going to school the next morning if she lost. I would cry if she did. I hated Steffi Graf for beating Gaby. She looked stunning(she still does)...

Dont get to see Gaby as much now, but i havent cheered any other woman tennis player (i am a Pete Sampras fan) as much as i passionately supported Gaby.

By the way, she is 36 and single..

Sunday, September 24, 2006

My chronicles with KTC - Part 1

The Kadamba Transport Corporation (KTC) is Goa's state-owned transport corporation.

Goa has 5 major cities/towns(that is what i was taught in school). Mapusa is the northernmost, 13 kms to the south of which lies the capital Panaji. Further almost equidistant to the capital, about 30-35 kms away, lie Margao, Vasco and Ponda to the south, south west and east of Panaji respectively.

The bus routes from Panaji-Margao and Panaji-Vasco have only KTC buses plying along them. Passengers have two options - one, travel in the bus that stops all along the way to pick up passengers on the route(these are normally old buses, jittery and screaking periodically, like a 56 year old running the second marathon of his athetic career, frequently needing water breaks) and two, board the shuttles (faster, smoother like a 21 year old waiting on the bench at his first soccer game all raring to go) at either place and travel directly to your destination without any halts on the way. I chose the latter option.

I decided to buy a monthly bus pass which enables me to bypass any queues for shuttle tickets and walk straight up to the counter, present my pass and a ticket is reserved. Not only does this give me a feeling of self importance but it also happens to be convenient for a regular commuter who usually spends more time in the queue than in the bus. Using my infinite wisdom, i got my sister to laminate the pass for me after i bought it. Goa's monsoons can get the most intimately hidden things wet, and laminating it was the best idea that had come to my mind since the disposing the garbage in the garbage dump last Christmas. I got my pass nicely done with the lamination, and it was plastic coated, hard and crisp.

With a spring in my step, a song in my head, the smell of fresh cowdung in my nose and the pass in the pocket of my shirt so (and so very) close to my heart, i walked up to the ticket counter to swank my pass. Imagine my horror, when they told me my pass was useless! Why ?? Because they could not mark on it using their ball point pen. They had to strike off the date to make sure i dont indulge in my fantasy of travelling by the shuttle to and fro all day, and can travel either way just once each day. To strike off the date they used a 3 year-or-so old ball pen which was just not penetrative enough for the plastic coating on my pass. The ball pen was the KTC method of saying how they love the good old days of yore when punching a pass meant marking on it with a pen.

My pass was so adamant, it could be not stripped of the plastic coating. The coating and the pass had developed some romantic affinity for reach other, and it was like either both go or none go! So i was given two options by the KTC 1) Buy a new pass 2) Remove the lamination. There was no way out they said. I consulted some astrologers and numerologists (including the world famous Baba Halwai Haldighattiwale currently staying at Room 103 of City Lodge).

I could ask for a duplicate pass. I could convince them using fact or fiction to issue me one. Fact in this case was not as dramatic as fiction. That meant explaining to the staff at the KTC main office the real story. Great people care nothing for facts. They dont pursue their futures using facts, they create it using just about anything. All the people i had spoken to about the pass problem and told them all the facts, had laughed at me. They guffawed in such a manner, as though i was caught scratching my crotch on camera. Will Gandhigiri work?
Another alternative was taking the fiction way out and fabricating a i-lost-my-pass story and here is my receipt and please issue me another pass after offering your condolences. The issue with this was that i had to prove my pass my lost. I could have hired a lawyer to do that, but i thought i'd rather not spend on a lawyer. So i figured the way was tedious.

Glenda suggested i use a marker pen and ask them to mark the pass. So i took that way out. KTC guys have this absolute aversion to change. Some hold my marker as though it was some dynamite stick that can detonate any moment. The ego of the ball point pen has been hurt though and i have not enjoyed it.

Lessons learnt from the pass failure fiasco
1) Logic, commonsense, facts are alien in a world where rules taught 20 years ago still are the norm.
2) Avoid hurting a ball point pen's ego.
3) Never laminate paper.
4) De-lamination machines is a good idea.
5) Lawyers are more expensive than i thought.

Friday, September 22, 2006

SMS Joke

Student's Father : How is this engineering college?
Peon : Very good, sir. I studied here only.

How they make love in India??

So you wanna know how they make love in India, read on.

Wondering how we procreate and reproduce, actually there is a science behind it. We need flowers for it. When two flowers get intimidatingly close, thats when we reproduce!!

What? Here is a slideshow of Bollywood's steamiest moments.

Yeah man..

Xabi Alonso goal vs Newcastle

Watch this goal...
Xabi Alonso's long ranger finds the mark!!!!!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Overheard in Hyderabad

Geek meets old college crush visiting Hyderabad.

Girl: So what have you been upto?
Geek: Lots actually! Been working at _______ Technologies for a year now. Lots of fun, chilling out!! What about you?
Girl: Came here on a work assignment. Will be leaving Sunday evening!
Geek: Cool! Why dont we meet up on Saturday?
Girl: Nothing much, dont have many friends here. What do you do on weekends usually?
Geek: I go to office..
Girl: Oh ok! Dont you work on weekdays ?
Geek: I do!! Thats when we work hard. Weekends i go to the office to chill out!!
Girl: Office on weekends?
Geek: Maybe you can join me this Saturday
Girl: at your office??
Geek: Yeah. Its fun. I'll show you where i work and what i do..
Girl: Actually (geek's name), we have an office outing planned so i am not sure but will let you know!!


Friday, September 15, 2006

Bring on Sharapova

I know her rankings are dropping (70 currently from a career best 31 a year ago). But Sania Mirza looks stunning in this ad for Sprite. And i have no idea why they need Bollywood starlets for advertisements.

Wanna get laid??

Some weeks ago, the Hindustan Times in its Sunday Brunch magazine carried an article that portrayed the online dating psyche of the Indian male.

One of the 'finds' of the article was the amazingly (and depressingly!) low responses single Indian guys managed to draw by posting ads on common dating and social networking sites like Fropper and Orkut seeking female company. This was attributed partially to their Brobdingnagian obsession with sex, which puts off women so enormously that prefer chimpanzees instead.

The Indian male has company. According to this, his counterparts elsewhere are no different.

Boys will be boys. Men will be men. Chimpanzees will be lucky!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

How to catch a lion - Different methods

Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.

Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.

Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.

Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping!

Mani Ratnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!

Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George Bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tires and surrender's

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


1. India is the world's largest, oldest, continuous civilization.

2. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.

3. India is the world's largest democracy.

4. Varanasi, also known as Benares, was called "the ancient city" when Lord Buddha visited it in 500 B.C.E, and is the oldest, continuously inhabited city in the world today.

5. India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

6. The World's first university was established in Takshashila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education.

7. Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software - a report in Forbes magazine, July 1987.

8. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Charaka, the father of medicine consolidated Ayurveda 2500 years ago. Today Ayurveda is fast regaining its rightful place in our civilization.

9. Although modern images of India often show poverty and lack of development, India was the richest country on earth until the time of British invasion in the early 17th Century. Christopher Columbus was attracted by India's wealth.

10. The art of Navigation was bornin the river Sindhu 6000 years ago. The very word Navigation is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH. The word navy is also derived from Sanskrit 'Nou'.

11. Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart. Time taken by earth to orbit the sun: (5th century) 365.258756484 days.

12. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians.

13. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India. Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th century. The largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 whereas Hindus used numbers as big as 10**53(10 to the power of 53) with specific names as early as 5000 BCE during the Vedic period. Even today, the largest used number is Tera 10**12(10 to the power of 12).

14. IEEE has proved what has been a century old suspicion in the world scientific community that the pioneer of wireless communication was Prof. Jagdish Bose and not Marconi.

15. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra.

16. According to Saka King Rudradaman I of 150 CE a beautiful lake called Sudarshana was constructed on the hills of Raivataka during Chandragupta Maurya's time.

17. Chess (Shataranja or AshtaPada) was invented in India.

18. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted complicated surgeries like cesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery. Usage of anesthesia was well known in ancient India. Over 125 surgical equipment were used. Deep knowledge of anatomy, physiology, etiology, embryology, digestion, metabolism, genetics and immunity is also found in many texts.

19. When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley (Indus Valley Civilization).

20. The four religions born in India, Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, and Sikhism, are followed by 25% of the world's population.

21. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC.

22. India is one of the few countries in the World, which gained independence without violence.

23. India has the second largest pool of Scientists and Engineers in the World.

24. India is the largest English speaking nation in the world.

25. India is the only country other than US and Japan, to have built a super computer indigenously.

Famous Quotes on India (by non-Indians)

* Albert Einstein said: We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.
* Mark Twain said: India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
* French scholar Romain Rolland said: If there is one place on the face of earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India.
* Hu Shih, former Ambassador of China to USA said: India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border.

Facts to make every Indian proud

Q. Who is the co-founder of Sun Microsystems?
A. Vinod Khosla

Q. Who is the creator of Pentium chip (needs no introduction as 90% of the
today's computers run on it)?
A. Vinod Dahm

Q. Who is the third richest man on the world?
A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Aziz Premji,
who is the CEO of Wipro Industries. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th
position now.

Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail (Hotmail is world's No.1 web
based email program)?
A. Sabeer Bhatia

Q. Who is the president of AT & T-Bell Labs (AT & T-Bell Labs is the creator
of program languages such as C, C++, Unix to name a few)?
A. Arun Netravalli

Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard?
A. Rajiv Gupta

Q. Who is the new MTD (Microsoft Testing Director) of Windows 2000,
responsible to iron out all initial problems?
A. Sanjay Tejwrika

Q. Who are the Chief Executives of CitiBank, Mckensey & Stanchart?
A. Victor Menezes, Rajat Gupta, and Rana Talwar.

We Indians are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even
faring better than the whites and the natives.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Ideas ....

I have just witnessed an engaging debate on ownership of intellectual property on one of the forums i subscribe to.

Some months ago, a few friends of mine had come up with some ideas to revolutionise the sagging morale of businesses in Goa by using the internet to obtain a wider target audience. Knowing how easy it is to put up a web service that helps people pool in their resources and make things work for the good of the community, the ideas kept getting reworked till a new draft emerged that did not resemble the original idea at all.

Some guy who was mailed a copy of the initial plan forwarded it to mailing groups left, right and centre and worse was.. it had my name as the author below. The guy who did this tremendously magnificient job is a well meaning guy whose enthusiasm to come up with something new far exceeded his intelligence.

Ideas amount to nothing if not implemented into suitable products or services. Get that clear and straight. Frankly, you may have the best ideas in the world on paper but that paper is worth a roll of toilet paper if those ideas never come out of that paper and become products/services.

Why is this tirade about ideas?? I chanced about this post by Rajesh Shetty and just felt like letting loose!!

Monday, September 04, 2006

exposure trips for leaders and death for the farmers

Farmers in Vidharbha are desperate. Poverty and crop failure translates to one suicide every 8 hours.

In such circumstances, junkets like these are not going to solve any problems for farmers nor turn Mumbai into Shanghai..

Maharashtra State debt: Rs 1 lakh cr, junket cost: Rs 3 cr

Carry on ministers!!!

Saturday, September 02, 2006


Rabindranath Tagore on Vande Mataram

Hindutva gives India its identity. It is what differentiates us from the rest. But the hallmark of a great nation is its soul, its character and its identity is just a part of the soul. India's soul lies in its diversity. The manner in which India has thrived with so many different people having different cultures, languages, religions is a testimony to its great character.

Which is why the recent Vande Mataram controversy is a pain.

Seperatist politics and votebank politics go hand in hand. Earlier the debate was about partition. Today its about alienation to consolidate votebanks.

The problem existed long ago. So long ago that in a letter to Subhash Chandra Bose in 1937, Rabindranath Tagore discusses the problem. Most of what he said then applies today.

The core of 'Vande Mataram' is a hymn to goddess Durga: this is so plain that there can be no debate about it. Of course Bankim does show Durga to be inseparably united with Bengal in the end, but no Mussulman [Muslim] can be expected patriotically to worship the ten-handed deity as 'Swadesh' [the nation]. This year many of the special [Durga] Puja numbers of our magazines have quoted verses from 'Vanda Mataram' - proof that the editors take the song to be a hymn to Durga. The novel Anandamath is a work of literature, and so the song is appropriate in it. But Parliament is a place of union for all religious groups, and there the song can not be appropriate. When Bengali Mussulmans show signs of stubborn fanaticism, we regard these as intolerable. When we too copy them and make unreasonable demands, it will be self-defeating."

"Bengali Hindus have become agitated over this matter, but it does not concern only Hindus. Since there are strong feelings on both sides, a balanced judgement is essential. In pursuit of our political aims we want peace, unity and good will - we do not want the endless tug of war that comes from supporting the demands of one faction over the other."

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