Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leavin home.

I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. Ive been findin real passion with Randy n he is so nice 2 me. I know when u meet him ull like him too - even wit all his piercin, tattoos, n motorcycle clothes.But its not only d passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said tht he wants me 2 hav the kid n tht v can be very happy
together. Even though Randy is much older than me (neway, 42 isnt so old these
days is it?) and has no money, really these things shouldnt stand in d way of our relationship, dont u agree?

Randy has a gr8 CD collectn; he already owns a trailer in the woods n has a stack of firewood 4 d whole winter.Its true he has othr girlfrnds as well but I know he'll be faithful 2 me in his own way. He wants to have many more children wit me and thats now 1 of my
dreams too.

Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves ! it!!

Dont worry Dad, Im 15 yrs old now n I knw how 2 take care of myself. Someday Im sure we'll be back to visit so u can get 2 knw ur grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,
Rosie.

PTO

PS: Dad, none of the above is true.
I'm over at the neighbour's house.
I jus wantd to remind you tht thr r worse things in life than my report
card that's in my desk centre drawer!