Rajan Bala for the Indian cricket coach

Say NDTV conjures up a 'special' programme on domestic violence. Not BDSM. Cruelty to kids and wives and husbands. With the focus on the movie 'Provoked', the story of Kiranjit Ahluwalia is explained, and facts and figures furnished about the rising instances of wife-beating cases among Indian families both in India and abroad. After all the startling, blood-chilling facts are presented, they conduct an interview and ask the interviewee more about the incidence of domestic violence. Whom do they interview - Not the Southall Black Sisters or some PETS (People for the Ethical Treatment of Spouses) - They interview the intellectual and strong social thinker that is Aishwarya Rai.

Along similiar lines but a change of subject. Lets talk about our battered cricket team. Serious issue, and a posse of intellectuals with just the right mixture of cricketing experince and no cricketing experience. Some depressants are less agonizing than others. NDTV had their INDIAN CRICKET OPINION POLL or some similar name of that sort on Good Friday. I have been watching NDTV for a while and if you are a NDTV novice, you must understand that they take their opinion polls real seriously. Their recent opinion poll on the UP Assembly Elections and the subsequent predictions of a hung assembly, combined with the constant prodding by head honcho Prannoy Roy about the sample size employed and the accuracy of the poll left both Mayawati and Mulayam no maya to cling to and nothing mulayam to lean on.

Coming back to the topic of the GREAT INDIAN CRICKET OPINION POLL (or was it GREATEST?), the panelists were NKP Salve, Kishore Bhimani, Rajan Bala, Navjot Singh Sidhu and Ajay Jadeja. Whether the one hour long discussion threw something new in the fray, discovered some hidden secrets, or zeroed down on the cause of the Indian team's fall at the World Cup depends on each person's perspective. If you are like my 51 year old aunt who has never watched a single cricket game in her life, i'm sure you will find the discussion very enlightening.

But the point is not about NDTV. Its about a rising star on the horizon of Indian cricket. It about a man who needs no introduction. Because a mere introduction alone would not suffice. A man who has set precedents with his demeanour and class. A man who should be the Indian cricket team coach but is not yet because as you all know, the forces of darkness are prevailing at the moment. The great Rajan Bala.

I strongly recommend Rajan Bala for the post of the coach of the Indian cricket team. Not without reason. But these are not the only reasons. There are countless unspeakable, inexpressible reasons that just are there deep in the trenches of every cricket lover's heart.

- He looks focussed. Our cricketers focus hard only at the crease, but Bala's gaze appears focussed all the time, as though he is expecting a Lasith Malinga bouncer from behind the curtain every minute of his life.

- His cricketing knowledge is better than anyone else living on planet earth in this century. Ask him any question, and he will reply with a good old Aussie anecdote.

- He heard it all when Vic Richardson took on Don Bradman, Trevor Hohns told Steve Waugh its time to pack up, Wally Hammond and Neville Cardus discussed eggs, and other instances like these. He may deny it, but i strongly feel his presence was the major motivating factor and source of strength and courage for conversation between them all.

- Greg Chappell text messages him at times. Batting tips will come from Greg, Under-arm bowling tips from Trevor, retirement tips from Ian, Baseball tips from Greg's son Jon(of the Toronto Blue Jays). So an all-round coach.

- His name is dangerous enough to scare the Indian players off any match-fixing aspirations.

- His bald dome poses less resistance to the absorption of new ideas and enhances the concept of an open mind.

- His pointed lips resemble those of Greg Chappell. Memories of sharp words for the Indian cricketers. The lips are the source of the tips and flips.

- His stare is very very unsettling, strong enough to unsettle any rival fielders fielding near the pavilion.

Some will argue that Bala has no cricketing experience. But he makes up for it with his sharp ears, his pointed lips, his bald dome, his clear voice, his steady gaze, his unsettling stare and his very underworld-don type name.

Its time to get behind him as one nation. As one body of one billion. Painted blue. With Pepsi bottles in our hands. Its time to say "BERMUDA ke saath khelega toh jeetega"!!!!