Tourists in Goa... Part Two

This one was long overdue. After the Indian Tourists who visit Goa, its time to make a few categories of the firangi aka foreign variety.

1) Rebels/Ravers
- They wear loose pyjamas and sport unkempt hair, and are usually spotted puffing ciggies away like there is no tomorrow. Sometimes they are so tall and lean, they remind you of the stilt walkers. Get along pretty well with almost everyone in town and have a nagging tendency of inviting the wrath of stray dogs. They hang out by the beach and are always game for a joint and some cheap booze. There is very little that turns them on more than a rave gig with deafening goa trance. The girls mostly are German or Scandinavian while a surprising majority of the guys are Israelis. Most travel by local transport, and usually have a Lonely Planet Guide in one hand and a cig in the other. Their hairstyles can put all from Sanjay Malakar to Djibril Cisse to shame and their clothes will make all at Lakme Fashion Week proud.

2) Retired old couples
- Fat, rotund and pinkish in colour, and all of them almost without exception, have silver or golden hair. Blessed with the balance but not the vital stats of a figure skater, their burly frame is well supported by two legs although laws of mechanics might recommend three. They are mostly spotted walking around Panjim, carrying plastic bags full of miniature Taj Mahals and the like. Dont be surprised if they ask you for directions to the Panjim Church or the Head Post Office, while standing outside the very same place. Respond respectfully, not with laughter or malaise, but with words that will make them happy and assure them that getting around in Panjim is indeed hard. Being slow movers, their bulk and speed on the narrow footpaths remind you of old trucks on one-way lanes.

3) The rich bums
- The celeb, rich brats, spoilt kids of the rich and famous, who look just like any other tourists in Goa, can be spotted too. According to them, the sea is safe for swimming even when you are high on booze(the alcohol makes sure you float, not drown) and the roads safe for speeding two wheelers even though they have never rode on one ever. These specimen live in their hotel rooms, and sunbathe on the private beaches of the 5 star resorts. They usually see the sights as they pass by in their air-conditioned cars. There is a better chance you will recognise them on TV rather than in person. Celeb singers write songs in their hotel rooms, some shoot a video and the movie stars attend parties within the resorts, but in all this the fact remains - No one knows who they are. These specimen think they walk one foot above the ground, little realising they are thousands of miles below the sky.