Guitars

Why guitars are better than....

Men

_________________

* Guitars don't work late.
* Your Guitar stays as clean as you want it to.
* Guitars don't have parents or kids.
* Guitars don't get sick.
* Guitars don't get overweight, unless you like the Jumbo style.
* If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
* Your Guitar always has time for you.
* Guitars don't watch TV.
* Guitars never need a shave, nor do they have hair on their backs.
* Guitars don't snore.
* Guitars don't leave a mess in the kitchen or bathroom.
* If you don't like the length of your Guitar's appendage you can get a new one.
* You can try out as many Guitars as you like before you get your own.
* You don't have to feed your Guitar.
* Guitars never argue, you are always right.
* Guitars never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
* Guitars never try to show you off to their friends.
* Guitars don't come home drunk after a night out with the other Guitars.
* Guitars don't sneak around with other Guitars.
* Guitars don't care what you look like or what your age is.
* Guitars don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.
* Guitars don't care if you have to work late.
* When you're playing, your Guitar doesn't care if other Guitars are bigger or better.
* Guitars don't care about their performance.
* Guitars don't get you pregnant.
* Guitars don't have mothers.
* When you've finished playing, you can put it away.
* You don't have to praise a Guitar after playing it.
* Guitars don't sulk.
* Guitars don't bore you.
* Guitars don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting players.
* Guitars don't have to prove anything.
* Guitars don't try to change you once you've bought them.
* Guitars don't get jealous of your male colleagues.
* Guitars never interrogate you.
* Second-hand Guitars don't brag about previous owners.
* Second-hand Guitars don't go to see previous owners when you're out of town.
* You don't have to explain to a Guitar if you don't feel like playing tonight.
* Guitars never put you down, yet you can put them down whenever you wish.
* Guitars don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.
* Guitars don't have egos.
* Guitars don't need remote control units.
* When you're lost you don't have to argue with your Guitar about stopping to ask the band for directions.
* When your Guitar is being played too slow, you can speed up.
* When you need someone to play with, your Guitar is happy to accomodate.
* You buy the tools your Guitar needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.
* You don't have to continually assure your Guitar that its string length is just right.
* You determine the length and frequency of playing, and you're always in control.
* Your Guitar never finishes before you do.
* Your Guitar doesn't complain about your going out to dinner with your women friends rather than staying at home with it.
* You never get helpful suggestions from your Guitar's mother.
* Your Guitars will allow you to play it even on Super Bowl Sunday.
* Your Guitar never complains if you put on a few pounds.
* When your Guitar is dysfunctional you know how to get it fixed (and know that it can be fixed).
* Your Guitar will never earn more than you do for the same job just because it's a Guitar.
* Your Guitar never spends a "night out with the Guitars" and comes home with a strange rash on its fretboard.

and last, but not least:

* Your Guitar will never turn into a beer bellied blob of wood and metal on the couch in front of the TV.





Why guitars are better than.....

---

Women
_______________

* Guitars don't get pregnant.
* You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
* Guitars don't have parents.
* Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
* You can share your Guitar with your friends.
* Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
* Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
* Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
* Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
* You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
* If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
* Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
* Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
* You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
* If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
* You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
* You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
* Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
* Guitars don't get headaches.
* Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player.
* Your Guitar never wants a night out with the other Guitars.
* Guitars don't care if you're late.
* You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar.
* If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts.
* You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie or meet its mother.
* The only protection you have to wear when playing your Guitar is a decent thumb pick.
* When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great time you had the last time you played your Guitar.

and last, but not least:

* If you decide to part with an old Guitar, you don't have to give up half of everything you own.

__________________

Source - Brian the brilliant

Tagged!!

After having blogged for about 875 years, i finally got tagged by Bachblue. This tag thingy is unfamiliar territory for me. So pray for me folks, i dont want to mess up on my first attempt. So here goes..

First the Rules for the Tag:

1. Link the person(s) who tagged you (Bachblue)
2. Mention these rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

The All Important Quirks Follow:

1. Lets start with the bed - the one place i have always wanted others to think i am good. I snore. I sometimes talk in my sleep. And i practice my football skills by kicking a lot. I dont know if i wake up a better footballer, but i very often wake up alone.

2. I dont drink. Not even beer. Maybe a very rare glass of wine. I am very much Goan though.

3. I bite my nails. I use a nail-cutter only for my toe nails. Toe nails are hard to bite off.

4. I prefer traveling alone to places i have never been to. Usually, a new place to me is like an unopened gift wrapped in layers of presentation paper. When i am alone, the thought process is more intense, and i have discovered, i experience the sights and the sounds a lot more intensely. When i am alone, the wind blows harder at me, the dogs bark louder, the traffic noises seem louder and adventure of being in an unfamiliar environment is much more real.

5. I am an addicted blog reader. I subscribe to about 500 blogs. And i read each one. Not always every word, but most of them. It hurts to click on the 'Mark All As Read' button when i have not read blog posts.

6. I have never washed my own clothes. And I am 25. I will be moving in to the college campus this week, so that will be my first experience with washing clothes. I hope i have been blessed with some innate talent in this department.

Its Tag Time !!!

I tag Monday's Child, Illusionaire, Jerusha, Kartik Kannan, IssacMJ, and anyone else who is interested.

What if?

Imagine yourself on a bus ride.

You are enjoying the scenery and the cool breeze wafting in through the windows. A light drizzle has left the surroundings wet and green. Your eyes devour the beauty around. And then, the sights and the peace are interrupted by noise. There is commotion. Suddenly, someone tells you that you will die when the bus stops. Thats it. You will be shot when the bus stops and its no joke. You decide to fight back. You will not take it lying down. The bus stops. Gunshots are heard from the front, lost in the cacophony of wails and screams. Fighting back is a lost cause. Your heart sinks. Surrender and death is the only way out of this bus. You hear muffled prayers from the back. Reality dawns on you. You realize you are living the last few minutes of your life.

You think of all the people you have ever met, the people you loved, the dreams left unrealized, the hopes left shattered. Your mind does not know what to do. The past is full of regrets and broken promises. The future is full of uncertainty. The present is hard to keep the mind on. But the present will be over soon.

At this point, would you look back on your past and regret the fact that you haven't achieved anything worthwhile, and that you did not spend time with the people who mattered, doing what mattered?

Or would you worry about what will happen to you after you die?

Start Where You Stand

By Berton Braley

Start where you stand and never mind the past,
The past won't help you in beginning new,
If you have left it all behind at last
Why, that's enough, you're done with it, you're through;
This is another chapter in the book,
This is another race that you have planned,
Don't give the vanished days a backward look,
Start where you stand.

The world won't care about your old defeats
If you can start anew and win success;
The future is your time, and time is fleet
And there is much of work and strain and stress;
Forget the buried woes and dead despairs,
Here is a brand-new trial right at hand,
The future is for him who does and dares,
Start where you stand.

Old failures will not halt, old triumphs aid,
To-day's the thing, to-morrow soon will be;
Get in the fight and face it unafraid,
And leave the past to ancient history,
What has been, has been; yesterday is dead
And by it you are neither blessed nor banned;
Take courage, man, be brave and drive ahead,
Start where you stand.

innovative media ideas hit Goa!!

The Times Of India - Goa edition carried photos and a writeup of a 21st Birthday party on Page 3. Very innovative indeed. Brilliant ideas like these were what the Goan media were lacking until May 20, 2008 (today).

It could be due to a lack of quality parties in Goa. Combined with a ready availability of too much paper and too much space.

Better still would be a helpline where we could call them over to celebrate our events - the puppy dog's birthday, weddings of distant cousins, wedding anniversaries, house inaugurations, cross feasts and litanies :-)

Hum do, hamare do..

Amrita has a nice post on Aishwarya Rai at Cannes. I loved this picture. The family picture in Cannes. Amitabh looks lost, Abhishek looks like the face-saving father and Amar Singh looks like those family servants who accompany their masters to every function in town.

Matrimonial ads from some of the most eligible folk in town

Got the following email. Don't know if these are actual posts on Shaadi.com. But they are amusing enough. Have fun!

Bravery awards should go those who can spent 3 hours on a 'date' with any of these posters.

=====================================================

These are ads taken from shaadi.com - guys searching for brides.These
are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spell errors have no
place in a

profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
Disclaimer: I

am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading
this.....~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -

Hello To Viewers My Name
is Shekhar , I am single i don't have female, If anyone want to Marie
to me u can visit to my home. I am not a good education but i working
all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart...whenever
u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours
Regards Shekhar ~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa
state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other
homework
(Homework?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever.
she may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire
life can run smoothly. thank you (The principle of running life smoothly was
never so easy!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
she should be good looking and should have a service. she should have one
brother and one sister. she should be educated. (ain't it unique !! 1
brother 1 sister criteria)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to
make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I am
looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love
myself a lot.

If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand
forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya
effect)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~i
am simple boy.I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i
am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot lot (I don't know
why but this is one of my favorites)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife should be as 'Shivani' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as
in KSBKBT...... (Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be
demanding too much,ain't he?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house
but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast (by
not wearing her jeans? Wat the freak...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE
ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE
REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY
SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.(all of
us are loughing)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be
someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like
this she would be called the woman of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel
so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i
love thepatner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok(I am again
clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from
"Ok-syndrome")
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother
sister complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how
to get married 'completely'?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. iam
doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at
kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist. (actually what is this
guy
doing?
Postal service or
tailor.??)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my name is muhamad and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige
me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes (height of
desperation!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or she havea
frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the
main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are
beautiful.but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom
say that Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS
YOUR. bye bye.(uttama
purushan)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.(No comments)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.(maybe the poor
guy meant BAD habits)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life
happily.i divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect
the good minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or
other caste accepted ... (but credit cards not
accepted..???)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm looking out for who lives in bombay , girl simple who trust me lot
should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY. (Now that criterion is a must,
isn't it?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to be married on jan-2006. working woman perferable(this guy has fixed the
marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride.I wish him best of
luck on

behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.
because girl is the maharani. (Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any
takers?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying
salary at present. (Any takers again?) -- DT

Dedicated to Mama

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
“Just wait until your father gets home.”

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING:.
“You are going to get it when we get home!”

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE:
“What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you…Don’t talk back to me!”

My Mother taught me LOGIC:
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
&
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD:
“If you don’t pass your spelling test, you’ll never get a good job.”

My Mother taught me ESP:
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you’re cold?”

My Mother taught me HUMOR:
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT:
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

My Mother taught me about SEX:
“How do you think you got here?”

My Mother taught me about GENETICS:
“You’re just like your father.”

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS:
“Do you think you were born in a barn?”

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE:
“When you get to be my age, you will understand.”

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE:
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY:
“Keep crying and I’ll *give* you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
“Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is finished.”

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t Exaggerate!!!”

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about ENVY:
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”

====================================

Found the above here

Dear Shah Rukh Khan

Dear Shah Rukh Khan,

The Eden Gardens is not a Bollywood movie theatre. And Kolkata Knight Riders is not a film directed by Farah Khan. So if the Knight Riders dont do well and die away in the IPL, there is no way they will be resurrected from the dead.

You can dance along the boundary ropes or in the stands with your cronies all you like but it still wont prevent your team from going down the drain. Your dancing and cheering does not cause your team to win, so cut the crap and move on.

Shoaib Akhtar wont save you (and your team) and neither will NDTV. It is sport. Not some Karan Johar or Farah Khan movie where you are hero.

As much as you are a hero in films, its high time you realise that life is a different ballgame.

God bless you.

P.S. - I would have been a Knight Riders fan but your excessive showmanship puts me and many others like me OFF bigtime. Go back to Panchvi Class mein fail or whatever that is or go back to doing films like Om Shanti Om and let us watch our cricket in peace.

Back

Dearest Blog,

I remember sitting at a computer and writing unintelligible bullcrap (also called code) for 9 hours a day. The whole process (called programming) was too monotonous for my wandering mind. I was well on my way to becoming a redundant IC on the motherboard of computer. That is when you came into my life. I looked forward to parking my thoughts on you. My mind farted on you all the undigested thoughts it had ruminated on. You took it all silently.

I have good news. I am back.

Whether you like it or not, my mind will continue to fart on you.

Yours,
Me.

A few points to note after the Scarlett Keeling murder

Much has been said and written about the Scarlett Keeling murder in Goa.

A few observations from my end (I know a lot has been said already about the case, but i have to revive my blog)

1) Much as we would like to blame this crime on outsiders (read as non-Goans), the culprits were very much Goan. So the hospitable and friendly Goans have darker shades to them and i am glad the world knows it well now.

2) There exists a murky network between drug peddlers and cops. Drugs are easily available in Goa. That is the truth.

3) Getting caught with their pants down in front of international media will not change the Goan cops. They are beyond repair.

3) To the single female tourist - If you do not go out alone at 4 a.m. anywhere else in India because you think it is unsafe, why go out in Goa?

4) To mothers of 15 year olds - You do not leave your 15 year olds alone in Goa. 15 year olds are never at fault. At 15, i wanted to try everything.

5) There have been murders and rapes of foreigners before in Goa, which have gone unreported. Some have been passed off as suicide or drowning cases. The reason the Scarlett Keeling murder got front page attention was because her mother chose to fight and the national and international media paid attention.

6) The press in Goa are a complete sham. Laughable. One of the three P's in Goa that compete with each other to be the prized puppets in the hands of the rich and powerful, the other two being the Politicians and the Police.

=======================================================

There are two many unanswered questions about the murder even after the Goa Police has claimed the case has been cracked. These questions will appear as headlines in the international media soon.

All men are not like that

20-20 Cricket?

Photo - Getty Images/Cricinfo

Greedy me

In about nine hours from now, India take on hosts Australia at the Adelaide Oval.

The last time they were there 4 years ago, I was in the fifth semester of my computer engineering and had an exam in Computer Hardware Design that coincided with India's successful chase in the 4th innings. I decided to watch the match instead of studying. If i flunked the exam, i could take it again in 6 months. If India won the test match, i was not sure if i would ever get to see them win another test match in Australia. I got 9 marks out of 100 in the exam in a subject where i had scored 22 out of 25 in internal tests. It was worth the gamble. India won. I cleared the paper later.

India won in Australia again last week, this time in Perth. No exams this time. No bunking them either.

For the next 5 days i will pray for another win. Greedy me.