Monday, March 05, 2007

Overheard!

The following are actual conversations overheard !! Not a bunch of of made-up jokes...

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Blonde: ... So as soon as we got home from spring break I told my boyfriend that I had sex with Brad on the beach.
Friend: Oh my gosh! What did your boyfriend do?!
Blonde: He said, 'I guess we're not riding in Brad's limo for prom.'
Friend: What's wrong with Brad's limo?!

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Bimbette looking up at cliff face: Hey, do rocks eat other rocks?
Guy: ... Huh?
Bimbette: Do rocks eat other rocks? You know, so that they can grow into bigger rocks...
Guy: Are you serious? No, rocks do not eat other rocks.
Bimbette: Then, like... How do they get bigger?
Guy: [Silence.]
Bimbette: Like, what do they eat?

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Chick: So, what's there to do for fun around here?
Lifeguard: I dont know, I'm Canadian.

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Boy #1: Yeah, it was cool, but that bouncer searched me like crazy. He was patting my thighs and stuff. Security is crazy at that place, huh?
Boy #2: What security?
Boy #3: What bouncer?
Boy #1: You know, that big, fat guy near the entrance.
Boy #2: There was no security dude.
Boy #1: ... Then who the hell was that guy?!

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Mother taking away son's boogie board: Enough, time to leave and go home.
Young son: You don't deserve a child!

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Teen girl #1: Are you done yet?
Teen girl #2: Still haven't done it yet... By the way, you might not want to get in the way of the current!
Boy: Gross! She's peeing!
Teen girl #2: Shhh! Everyone can hear you!

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Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don't like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don't like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?

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Mom: Are you ready to go?
Little girl: No!
Mom: Okay, let's go!

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Chick #1: So, where are you going for your trip?
Chick #2: Thailand!
Chick #1: Cool! I worked with a guy from Korea once!
Chick #2: Ummm, yeah, that's not the same, really.
Chick #1: It's not? Oh... Things must be different now than from when he lived there.

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Anorexic girl: I wish I had AIDS. I hear you lose a lot of weight that way.

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Girl #1: Great, now we can't go swimming.
Girl #2: Why not?
Girl #1: 'Cause it's raining. That'd be, like, double wet.
Girl #2: Oh.

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Perv #1: Dude, check out that girl!
Perv #2: Which one?
Perv #1: Over there, in the yellow suit!
Perv #2: What? She can't be more than twelve!
Perv #1: Dude, I would totally do her!
Perv #2: You need help, man. She doesn't even have tits.
Perv #1: I'm not a titty man.
Perv #2: Yeah, well, your boyfriend in prison will be glad to hear that.

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Girl: It's so nice out today. I love natural wind.

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Child: Mommy, how old are you?
Mother: I am forty.
Child: [counting on fingers] Jeez, Mommy, you're running out of numbers.

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Teen girl: Do sea lions swim?
Mom: No, they ride boats.

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Check out more stuff
overheard at the beach
Also check out
overheard in New York
overheard in the office




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