Sunday, July 01, 2007

Restaurant Attacked By Battlestar Galacticoz

Nearly 100 activists of the right-wing extremist outfit Battlestar Galacticoz today barged in to the local Pao-Bhaji restaurant near the Municipal Market in the town center and smashed window panes and overturned tables, creating a huge ruckus in the entire process.

Most of the activists, clad in cheap imitation Galacticoz armor, and shouting slogans that sounded like 'Jai Batata Bhaji' and 'Jai Misal Pao', were young and full of enthusiasm in what they believed was the most important campaign in India since the 1857 Mutiny. The General Secretary of the organisation explained that the quality of food dished out at such outlets degraded national culture. Elaborating further, he said the general method of preparation and presentation was very Westernised and hence they decided to teach the owners and staff a lesson. The activists on their part believed that they were making a strong statement to all restaurant owners who did not adhere to indigenous processes and materials. Their believed their campaign will find support among the masses.

A few Galacticoz barged into the kitchen of the restaurant and bashed the cooks and cleaners, accusing them of using less sugar in the tea and using more Westernised ingredients in a majority of the other items on the menu. The activists demanded that the menu cards be altered and the word 'potato' be replaced by 'batata'. The restaurant owners however, refused to budge. They cited the rising cost for reprinting menus and suggested that the activists whack all the waiters and leave before any further damage to property ensued. Better sense prevailed after the Galacticoz were informed that the waiters were exponents of martial art and armed with forks and butter knives.

Champak Rammaiya (name changed to protect life), who owns a shoe shop in the same town center and was a witness to all the frenzied activity, said he hid all the pairs of Western shoes in his shop fearing he may be the next person under attack. In the chaos that followed, neighbouring shopkeepers downed their shutters till armed security personnel were posted in the area.

Reminiscent of the manner in which threats are issued by fundamentalist extremist Muslim terror groups to America and its allies, the Battlestar Galacticoz issued warnings to the World Bhelpuri Sellers Confederation to alter their menus to suit oriental tastes without incorporating any Western ingredients in their cooking, or else face the consequences. The Galacticoz have also issued similliar warnings to all ice-gola cart owners.

The rampaging mob left after a good 30 minutes of hooliganism, carrying with them sacks of potatoes, onions and other vegetables and fruits.


Rodley said...

Thanks for the info. i have a pav bhaji stall here in taliegao-panaji road. Will take the required precatutions. Thanks man.

menopausal_ballerina said... true...western culture is the reason why the youth of the nation is deteriorating!


*grunts in amusement*

Krish Ashok said...

Nice blog. blogrolled

illusionaire said...

Damn the Galacticoz! :-)

I agree, less sugar in our tea is the sole reason why we are still not a developed Country. Add more sugar and we will definitely progress from an NIC to a developed World Super Power! Sugar Sugar Sugar!!! :)

Really love the post. Slick, sly, sarcastic, and at the same time down to earth

Jason said...

Rodley, you must... Somewhere i read something about precaution being better than a cure.. cant quite remember where ..

menopausal_ballerina, 'Jai Bhaji Pav' 'Jai Misal Pav'

krish, thanks mate

illusionaire, i'm glad you got the point... Now cut down on the sugar okay...

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