wishing you Merry Elections and a Happy New Term

"This Government was committed to the welfare of the people and had a long-term vision for the progress and development of the state."
- Pratapsingh Rane, Chief Minister of Goa.

Wow! Thank you!
I bet you have cleared some cobwebs from the minds of the people of Goa, Mr Chief Minister, with that stupendous and bold statement underlining the significance of your Government's concern for Goa.

Anyways, you dear reader, relax. Ok here is the juice - the Assembly elections in Goa will be held in May. And you know elections are round the corner when politicians suddenly begin to suck up to the average person who has been very conveniently taken for a ride all the while.

There are many symptoms of impending elections. Just like how you can tell its Christmas time in Goa, when you see the shops full of decorations, Christmas trees, stars, and discounts, and posters and newspapers advertising X'mas Balls(Dances, so to speak); you can tell its election time in Goa when

-> Posters and banners are shored up on every nook and corner for festivals (be it Id or Diwali or Christmas or Holi or whatever) with the greetings on one half of the banner, and a smiling face on the other. Sonia Gandhi sometimes peeps out from the bigger banners as does some others. You know the smiling face is a candidate for the next elections who suddenly has a adrenalin rush on the festival day and runs to wish whichever living creature he can find, a happy festival.

-> Statements of the politicians falling into either of the below two categories consistently adorn the front pages of the local dailies
Category One : highlighting their achievements, and emphasizing the importance of their 'long-term' plans. Rome was not built in a day. They tell us 'You want to see progress, you must vote us back again, because we have started all the good works but they take time to complete so be good kids and vote us back and we promise you blah-blah-blah'
Category Two : allegations. if ever they are cornered, and their no-performance report cards brandished before them, statements like 'we did better than the other party', 'they are corrupt', and 'they have no plans for Goa but we do' emerge.

-> You are in the market square or in any public place, and unknown people smile at you and ask you how you are doing. Your guess is as good as mine! They are candidates for the elections or someone close to them is!

-> Birthdays become big celebrations with all night parties, free booze, large pandals, and live music, and full page advertisements highlighting the good qualities of the birthday boy/girl. Every Tom, Dick and Harry (read birthday boy/girl PR department) releases an advertisement congratulating the birthday boy/girl in the local dailies. Local dailies make hay when the sun shines. After all, itna advertising revenue baar baar kahaan milta hai?

-> You go to any wedding function or birthday party or any public gathering and you spot a politician there, willing to do anything from raising the toast, to cutting a ribbon with his/her teeth (because they forgot the scissor!) to getting you a glass of wine from the bar provided you let him/her do the talking.

-> The roads get a fresh coat of tar, and public buildings a fresh coat of paint. Footpaths that had come undone for years, get patched up and water and power supply is uninterrupted, for a change.

-> Election Rallies are held and people from every conceivable part of the state are given a free bus ride to the rally. Each person attending the rally is given some money to compensate for the loss of income they suffer when they abandon work to listen to 25 speeches at the rally instead.

Ok.. Now here is a quiz question.

Which five words in the Oxford English Dictionary are the most spoken words in the run up to the elections in Goa?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Ok here's the answer (not in any order)

1) Progress
2) Corruption
3) Secularism
4) Development
5) Communalism


Nah, you did not get that one. I give you one more shot. Here is another chance - question two

According to Goa's politicians, what is the truest sign of progress and development?

.
.
.
.
.
ok.. dont scroll down as much. The answer is here..
.
.
Whenever every piece of land (open space) available is grabbed and sold to the construction lobby, and when buildings emerge from everywhere except the potty hole in the toilet, that, my friend, is what they call progress and development.

There was a Save Goa campaign to save Goa from the clutches of the Regional Plan 2011. (click here to know how Goa was being raped and auctioned off) Today, this plan was de-notified with retrospective effect. All this after a very extensive campaign of protest from the public in Goa.

And you thought buying property in Goa meant green fields, fresh air, golden sands and the sea!!! You never know dude, the landscape is changing here.