Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Discrimination by telecallers

T - Telecaller

M : Hello
T : Is this Jason ____ from _______.
M : Yes
T : Sir, this is _____ calling from ICICI Bank credit card division, I got your reference from our database. Sir, i would like to inform you that you are eligible for a ICICI Gold Credit Card. to help you get one, we would like to know if you have an account in ICICI Bank..
(Long pause) ..
Do you have an ICICI Bank Account, sir?
M : Yes
T : Thats great. That just means things can be processed much faster. Can i have your account number sir?
M : Did i just say i have an ICICI Bank account?
T : Yeah
M : As a matter of fact, i dont. I just have this habit of saying yes all the time. I prefer saying Yes to saying No but sometimes i have no choice like now.
T : Thats okay sir, not a problem. I understand you work in a private company?
M : Yes, i mean no.
T : Are you employed with a public sector undertaking?
M : No, i'm unemployed. Must everyone be employed to have a credit card?
T : Yes sir.
M : Okay ... i'm self-employed.
T : But the database says you work with ______ .
M : Thats just a fake name of my company.
T: A fake name?
M : Yes. Our business model is so secret we have to protect it by changing our names so rivals cant track us. And its not the fault of your database. Its time we all be fair to computers. Even they can make mistakes. At our firm, we always respect and encourage our computers.
T : So what is the real name of your company?
M : 'Shootout at Lokhandwala'
T : Excuse me sir, can you repeat that?
M : 'Shootout at Lokhandwala'
T : Can you hold on for 2 minutes Sir, while i consult my superiors?
M : Sure, have fun
[After about 5 minutes]
T : Hello Sir?
M : Yes
T : whats the kind of business you are into?
M : Extortion. And some distortion.
T : Okay. Thats good. Can you tell me more about what is the kind of work you do?
M : See, we have clients in the middle east who outsource work to us, and our job is to procure resources to enhance the portfolios of our clients.
T : What kind of resources?
M : Bulls.
T : Bulls?
M : Yeah bulls. We organise 'dhirio'. You know bull-fights? [Dhirio is the Konkani word for bull-fights]
T : Where is this?
M : All over the world, but our main office is in Lokhandwala.
T : Can you give me the phone number of your Goa office sir?
M : In Goa, we work from a cowshed. We stopped using a landline. We did have a phone earlier, but we disconnected it after the bulls began to use it as the potty-place.

***** Phone is disconnected by T*****


Bombay Addict said...

Dude, did this happen for real? I think it did..LOL!

Sunshine said...

haha u have too much time on your hand:)

Jason said...

@bombay addict - it did.. i just edited some part out .. I usually ask them to explain the difference between a credit card and an ATM card .. Spared her the trouble.. :)

Jason said...

@sunshine - I think so too :) I'd rather have too much time than too less time anyway ;)

Sunshine said...

You know what I do when telemarketers call I say a big happy sounding “Yes” immediately to whatever they are selling and hang up immediately afterwards.

Jason said...

sunshine, i wonder if that keeps them at bay... Telemarketers can be good fun if you have time to spare :)

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