Things i do not understand

I subscribe to about 400 blogs. They are all fun. Super fun. However, there are two types of blog posts i just cannot understand -

Type 1 Blog Post -
"I will be in Chammiyanagar on Jan 21, 22, 23 - I am free for coffee or dinner after 5 on 22nd. Anyone wanting to meetup can call me on 99_____"
Seriously, are you so starved for company?

Type 2 Blog Post -
"I will be going to Panipuri tomorrow. I plan to visit Disneyland and take all the rides. After that i will head to Dahipuri and then to Bhelpuri and blah and more blah and the whole itinerary"
What is the point of this? Dont you think saying you will be out of action due to travel from (date) to (date) would suffice?

==================

By the way, just to inform those people who give me an average of 4 hits per week (of which 2 are mine), i am heading to the toilet tomorrow from 6.45 a.m to 7.00 a.m. If any of you people are in the area and would like to meet up, send me an email.

Finally, relief

Want to pee but you cannot? Use your keyboard to relieve yourself.

Appreciating the good things in life...

This is for all the grumblers. For all the mentally deficient folks like me who fail to see the goodness in life and in BSNL Call Centers.

Guy Kawasaki had an issue, and on behalf of our beloved BSNL, i'd like to assure him that the service would have been much better had he called BSNL superheroes or BSNL superheroines!

Discrimination by telecallers

T - Telecaller
========================

M : Hello
T : Is this Jason ____ from _______.
M : Yes
T : Sir, this is _____ calling from ICICI Bank credit card division, I got your reference from our database. Sir, i would like to inform you that you are eligible for a ICICI Gold Credit Card. to help you get one, we would like to know if you have an account in ICICI Bank..
(Long pause) ..
Do you have an ICICI Bank Account, sir?
M : Yes
T : Thats great. That just means things can be processed much faster. Can i have your account number sir?
M : Did i just say i have an ICICI Bank account?
T : Yeah
M : As a matter of fact, i dont. I just have this habit of saying yes all the time. I prefer saying Yes to saying No but sometimes i have no choice like now.
T : Thats okay sir, not a problem. I understand you work in a private company?
M : Yes, i mean no.
T : Are you employed with a public sector undertaking?
M : No, i'm unemployed. Must everyone be employed to have a credit card?
T : Yes sir.
M : Okay ... i'm self-employed.
T : But the database says you work with ______ .
M : Thats just a fake name of my company.
T: A fake name?
M : Yes. Our business model is so secret we have to protect it by changing our names so rivals cant track us. And its not the fault of your database. Its time we all be fair to computers. Even they can make mistakes. At our firm, we always respect and encourage our computers.
T : So what is the real name of your company?
M : 'Shootout at Lokhandwala'
T : Excuse me sir, can you repeat that?
M : 'Shootout at Lokhandwala'
T : Can you hold on for 2 minutes Sir, while i consult my superiors?
M : Sure, have fun
[After about 5 minutes]
T : Hello Sir?
M : Yes
T : whats the kind of business you are into?
M : Extortion. And some distortion.
T : Okay. Thats good. Can you tell me more about what is the kind of work you do?
M : See, we have clients in the middle east who outsource work to us, and our job is to procure resources to enhance the portfolios of our clients.
T : What kind of resources?
M : Bulls.
T : Bulls?
M : Yeah bulls. We organise 'dhirio'. You know bull-fights? [Dhirio is the Konkani word for bull-fights]
T : Where is this?
M : All over the world, but our main office is in Lokhandwala.
T : Can you give me the phone number of your Goa office sir?
M : In Goa, we work from a cowshed. We stopped using a landline. We did have a phone earlier, but we disconnected it after the bulls began to use it as the potty-place.

***** Phone is disconnected by T*****

Cute gals have weapons - Proven

Chat with H on MSN.

Me : women who dont fart audibly are called perfect gentlewomen. You are a certified silent farter
She: ... oh boy, that's not me at all. Wanna hear me fart?
Me : No
She: i am actually a certified silent killer, my silent ones can kill a battalion
Me : This is going on my blog
She : what is? silent killer?
Me : yeah
She : OMG. But you will say I am cute right???
Me : should i?
She : of course. You should let ppl know cute gals have weapons


NOTE : - Do not panic if you are in the Northern Hemisphere. H is in Singapore.

Peter Jimmy Carter Ongondo

To the one who reached my blog searching for Kenyan bowler having two middle names of american president

The answer is Peter Jimmy Carter Ongondo - Link

the pillar on which any society is built?

"Dear Miss Melanie, I know when a journalist is killed in Iraq, his or her colleagues around the world provide support and raise their voices in outrage. But where are the voices of outrage of lawyers in other countries when a lawyer is killed for doing his job? Where are the great associations of law we hear about? Where are the great law firms? . . . Where are the law schools? . . . The help we need is not only the help of the government. We need the help of our brothers in the law."
Link

"destructive, there is nothing positive"

Bishen Singh Bedi's take on Sunil Gavaskar

"He wants the glamour, the position and if there are any financial gains so much the better...but he does not want any accountability. He's always liked power without accountability - You tell me what his contribution has been. He is destructive, there is nothing positive"
Link

Uncensored Modesty

The polite way of saying you are the best in India is to get someone else to say it. If you have been paddling around for a top job, getting a few political bigwigs to say you are the best person for the job helps. When the spotlight turns on you, just give a sheepish smile and say you are ready to accept the will of the people and if the people think you are the best, then so be it. This brings out your modesty. If there is any.

Karan Singh tells NDTV he is the best man for the job of the President of India. I wonder if that is the best way to put your point across. I know the cause was lost. Pratibha Patil was in the driver's seat, a bit too early perhaps. Karan Singh with his Zakir Hussain cap emphatically states that he is the best man among the nominees.

Had he been nominated, Kallu Mama would have said he is the best man for the job as well.

The best man is not the star. Rajnikanth is asked who is the bigger star? Rajini or Amitabh - Rajini retort 'I may be a king but Amitabh is the emperor' - Oh what modesty! And i have been thinking Amitabh was a farmer who keeps saying UP mein dhum hai!

The Idiot Box chronicles

Yesterday i watched TV. You may be doubting it, but let me assure you, i am a human being too. But there are times when i am so swamped with things to do, i dont get time to do some of the more mundane things most humans do. Like watch TV *Or blog*

I do have time for Nat Geo Adventure though. But that comes before 8 am. So I flipped channels for about an hour. Bad weather meant that the reception quality for most channels was poor. Rather than blame my cable operator, i chose to blame the weather and convince myself there is nothing i can do about it. This way, i feel less lazier.

I zeroed in on the soaps on Zee TV, Sony and Star Plus. The creativity and talent on display in these serials probably goes unnoticed, because there are pertinacious folks like me who refuse to submit to the charms of these soap operas. Also, i need sufficient grounds to berate Ekta Kapoor for dishing out sensitive sudsers. Perhaps i could even make a blog post out of it where i could bring an episode under my satirical scanner. So i got set for an adventure ride of a lifetime.

I got into my comfy chair, clutched a soft pillow and was all set for a good time. I decided to watch one full episode of any soap opera, without changing channels midway (except during the commercial breaks).

The task was simple. Tolerate the programme for about half an hour. Just sit through it. Life's battles are far worse and some afford no other choice and sympathy and you have to face them. But this battle proved tougher than i thought.

I failed. I FAILED.

I changed channels thrice in the first 10 minutes before severe exhaustion of the nervous system took on over at the 11th minute and i quit the comfy chair, the pillow and threw in the towel (or remote) in 12 minutes. If it was a boxing bout with each round lasting till each commercial break, it would be safe to say i got knocked down just after the first round.

I do not understand many things in such soaps. I am serious. Can someone provide me non- sarcastic, fact ridden answers here.

Why does everything happen in slow motion? Mundane things like walking, eating, talking happen so slowly. It moves at a torturously torpid tempo. Why? Why is every female character dressed in fancy dress garb? Does everyone in India dress that way? Why is everyone so polite in the serials? You can predict if the character will say positive or negative stuff based on the background music and the dress of the actor. Why?

I switched to Channel V where they were showing reruns of the Get Gorgeous auditions. The three member jury consisted of this guy in the middle of two women and he was much more feminine than the ladies put together. The tall female to his right called Pia who is 'God knows who' is from the looks of it, God's greatest gift to humankind since Eve. And whats with these people who go for these reality show auditions making a shitty drama with tears and emotional crap - Chances are even the auto-rickshaw guy wont drop you to the bus station unless you stop crying and show him the money. So go get a life. And dont act as though its the end of life when you are rejected.

So if you are a toughie or think you are one, give the adventurer in you a real ride. If you wanna test your patience, stretch the limits of your tolerance, the boundaries of sanity, then do yourself a favour. Watch the soaps on Star Plus or Zee TV or Sony all day. Thats a real test of toughness and adventure spirit. Not some crazy group of bikers riding from Alaska to Patagonia. Or climbing Everest. Or swimming through the the shark infested Palk Straits.

Gems from the Times of India

Someone posts anti-Shivaji balderash on Orkut. Shiv Sena attacks a cybercafe in protest. Baffled?
Dont be.

The Times Of India beats it.

They pick on this issue and a headline on the bottom of the front page of the Mumbai edition yesterday reads 'Shiv Sena doublespeak on website'.

The TOI has found the Orkut profiles of Shiv Sena chief's Bal Thackeray's grandsons Aditya, Tejas and Rahul. Any relation between the anti-Shivaji and anti-Shiv Sena camps and these Orkut profiles is not investigated/mentioned.

We are told about the friends and scraps each grandson has. Thank you. Invaluable information.
If Bal Thackeray has a profile on Orkut, what has it got to do with posters of Hate Shivaji communities?

And you thought people who did not bother figuring out the difference between a poster on Orkut and a cybercafe in Kalyan were weird.

The same TOI has a headline on the inside pages that goes like this -
'A Diploma In A Happening Field May Be A Better Investment Than A Five-Year General Post-Graduate Programme'

Whatever.

Just dont take this TOI thingamajiggy seriously. Please.

Life - The way it is

Courtesy - Email from Marushka

Come on over!

They - "Heya! Surprise! "

Me - "Hi.... whats up?"

They - "Today is Sunday. We knew you all would be home. So we came over."

Me - "Great. The real purpose of our life which is having you over on Sunday. The rest of the week we spent in our jobs. But thats a distraction from the real purpose. Now that you are here, life begins to make so much sense. "

Goa Assembly Elections - Results

Goa went to the polls on Saturday. The results will be out by tomorrow noon. Amidst pouring rain, the state witnessed a 71 percent voter turnout.

I voted. For some strange reason, the guy at the booth painted my finger nail with that black ink. They normally make a mark on the nail to distinguish between those who have voted and those who have not. There was no reason for this guy to draw birds and trees on my fingernail. Probably i look like one of those dudes who hang outside the polling station, and wait for a chance to get back in again and cast another vote. I wonder if i look like a bogus voter. It must be my hair. I havent cut them in a while. Many guys in my area have long hair. But i'm the only one looking like Oprah Winfrey. Oprah does look like a bogus voter from behind. But the painting on the fingernail was bad. It will take atleast a year for me to erase that maniac's work of art. I felt like taking the bottle of ink and pouring it into his shirt pocket. Or better still, maybe down his throat.

The Assembly Polls witnessed 202 candidates battling it out for 40 seats. I'll post the results tomorrow once they are declared, which should be by noon.

Goa is a great place to live in if you are a satirist. Or if you are one of those guys who thrives on the ridiculous nature of people. Imagine the current crop of MLAs, barring a few who have not been indicted in a scam and accused of corruption (yet?), sailing in a boat to Gondwanaland and suddenly the boat sinks, who do you think will be safe?
Goa will be safe.

Meanwhile, do check Goa Votes 2007

UPDATE - Results

1: Mandrem-Goa

No. of Electors 20602
Polling Stations 23
No. of Contestants 7
Polling %age 80.01

Parsekar Laxmikant (BJP) 5858 35.54%
Khalap Ramakant (INC) 4148 25.17%
Manjrekar Shridhar (MGP) 2542 15.42%
Sangeeta Gopal Parab Ind 1949 11.82%
Palyekar Pradip D. Ind 849 5.15%
Devendra Deshprabhu Ind 679 4.12
Monteiro MeninoF UGDP 458 2.78%

Total Valid Votes 16483 100.00%
Lead Margin 1710

2: Pernem- Goa
No. of Electors 19349
Polling Stations 24
No. of Contestants 7
Polling %age 80.69%

Sopte Dayanand R (BJP) 7272 46.58%
Deshprabhu Jitendra (INC) 4827 30.92%
Teli Apa (MGP) 2873 18.40%
Gawandi Hanumant(ShivSena) 249 1.59%
Sanjay Krishnarao Prabhu Dessai Ind 183 1.17%
Smita Bharat Petkar JDS 122 0.78%
Asolkar Kishor (Ind) 86 0.55%

Total Valid Votes 15612 100.00
Lead Margin 2445

3: Dargalim- Goa
No. of Electors 16345
Polling Stations 21
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 79.67

Azgaonkar Manohar T(INC) 5049 38.77%
Morajkar Vithu B (BJP) 4275 32.83%
Parwar Kishor (MGP) 3465 26.61%
KorgaonkarSakharam(RPI/A) 233 1.79%

Total Valid Votes 13022 100.00
Lead Margin 774

4: Tivim- Goa
No. of Electors 27262
Polling Stations 25
No. of Contestants 8
Polling %age 72.48

Nilkanth Halarnkar (NCP) 8768 44.37%
Shet Tanawde SadanandBJP 8444 42.73%
Kandolkar Kiran Ind 1343 6.80%
Goveia Ludovico SagradoSGF 541 2.74%
Korgaonkar Indrakant D MGP 198 1.00%
Salgaonkar Umesh Shivsena 188 0.95%
Bepari Lala Ind 173 0.88%
Naik Vinayak Vithal JDS 105 0.53%

Total Valid Votes 19760 100.00
Lead Margin 324

5-Mapusa- Goa

No. of Electors 28344
Polling Stations 27
No. of Contestants 7
Polling %age 64.87

Francis D'Souza (BJP) 10104 54.95%
Subhash G. Narvekar JDS 3258 17.72%
Braganza Ryan NCP 2868 15.60%
Shriodkar Kiran MH MGP 1198 6.52%
Karekar Narayan S Ind 690 3.75%
Vernekar Prabhakar B Ind 158 0.86%
Hasotikar Sudesh RPI(A) 111 0.60%

Total Valid Votes 18387 100.00%
Lead Margin 6846

6-Siolim- Goa
No. of Electors 25674
Polling Stations 25
No. of Contestants 7
Polling %age 70.21

Dayanand Mandrekar BJP 7402 41.07%
Paliernkar Uday Ind 5400 29.96%
Marques Milton NCP 3845 21.33%
Fernandes Dorothy SGF 903 5.01%
Dabolkar Kiran MGP 223 1.24%
Sawant Mukesh M. Ind 172 0.95%
Dhargalkar Nilesh Morto Ind 80 0.44%

Total Valid Votes 18025 100.00
Lead Margin 2002

Nagvenkar Anandrao N Ind 144 0.66%
Vishwanath Rohidas H JDS 103 0.47%
Vasudev Keshav Halarnkar MGP 97 0.45%
Narvekar Umesh Suka Ind 57 0.26%

Total Valid Votes 21754 100
Lead Margin 3034

[Seems to be some mistake in the listing above, but that was
how I received it... probably a few extra lines]

7-Calangute- Goa
No. of Electors 27826
Polling Stations 29
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 70.08

Agnelo Fernandes INC 8319 42.66%
Joseph Sequeira UGDP 5558 28.50%
Malik Anjali ShrikantBJP 5381 27.59%
Naik Gajanan CPI 243 1.25%
Total Valid Votes 19501 100.00

Lead Margin 2761

8-Saligao- Goa

No. of Electors 22026
Polling Stations 21
No. of Contestants 6
Polling %age 69.95%

Dilip D. Parulekar BJP 6639 43.09%
D'Souza Wilfred NCP 4682 30.39%
Dmello Trajamo Ind 2290 14.86%
Sayed Salim SGF 1601 10.39%
Tulsakar Anand MGP 117 0.76%
Kanchan Arun Thool Ind 79 0.51%

Total Valid Votes 15408 100.00
Lead Margin 1957

9-Aldona- Goa
No. of Electors 31592
Polling Stations 32
No. of Contestants 9
Polling %age 68.86

Dayanand Ganesh Narvekar (INC) 9251 42.53
Kunda Chodankar(BJP) 6217 28.58
Fermeena Khaunte (Ind) 5298 24.35
Floriano Conceicao Lobo Goa Su-Raj 433 1.99
Salgaonkar Narcinva Ind 154 0.71
Nagvenkar Anandrao Narayanrao Ind 144 0.66
Vishwanath Rohidas Halarnkar JDS 103 0.47
Vasudev Keshav Halarnkar MGP 97 0.45
Narvekar Umesh Suka Ind 57 0.26
Total Valid Votes 21754 100.00
Lead Margin 3034

10-Panaji- Goa

No. of Electors 14937
Polling Stations 14
No. of Contestants 2
Polling %age 70.72

Manohar Gopalkrishna Prabhu Parrikar BJP 6004 56.83
Dinar Purshottam Kamat Tarcar INC 4560 43.17
Total Valid Votes 10564 100.00
Lead Margin 1444

11-Taleigao- Goa

No. of Electors 28993
Polling Stations 25
No. of Contestants 6
Polling %age 66.82

Monserrate Atansio J. UGDP 9641 49.77
Silveira Agnelo Mariano BJP 5619 29.00
Zuwarkar Somnath Datta Ind 3833 19.79
Kalangutkar Sudesh Raguvir Ind 135 0.70
Divkar Virendra Babuli JDS 84 0.43
Fernandes Rosario Caitan Ind 61 0.31
Total Valid Votes 19373 100.00
Lead Margin 4022

12-Santa Cruz- Goa
No. of Electors 29368
Polling Stations 29
No. of Contestants 9
Polling %age 69.19

Fernandes Victoria INC 7385 36.34
Hoble Anil Raghuvir BJP 6040 29.72
Monserrate Jennifer A. UGDP 5868 28.88
Pilarnekar Suresh SGF 582 2.86 213
Pandurang Kunkolkar Ind 123 0.61
Lopes Jose Ind 121 0.60
Shantinezkar Sunil MonoharShivsena 92 0.45
Fernandes Rony S. Ind 62 0.31
Shirodkar Av Avadout Ind 48 0.24
Total Valid Votes 20321 100.00
Lead Margin 1345

13-St. Andre- Goa
No. of Electors 22197
Polling Stations 25
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 68.64

Silveira Francisco (INC) 8593 56.40
Caiado Antonio Joao (BJP) 6074 39.87
Dessai Dongrikar Dilip (MGP) 286 1.88
Caiado Simon JDS 283 1.86

Total Valid Votes 15236 100.00
Lead Margin 2519

14-Cumbarjua- Goa
No. of Electors 27785
Polling Stations 35
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 73.13

Madkaikar Pandurang A (INC) 10016 49.29
Sawant Nirmala Ind 9445 46.48
Bhomkar Nilkant MGP 592 2.91
Fernandes Rodalph Ind 267 1.31
Total Valid Votes 20320 100.00
Lead Margin 571

15-Bicholim- Goa
No. of Electors 23176
Polling Stations 26
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 79.25

Patnekar Rajesh Tulsidas (BJP) 9352 50.91
Naresh Sawal (INC) 6657 36.24
Raut Pandurang Dattaram (MGP) 2092 11.39
Gad Vivekanand Save Goa Front 267 1.45

Total Valid Votes 18368 100.00
Lead Margin 2695

16-Maem- Goa
No. of Electors 19137
Polling Stations 21
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 82.08

Anant V. Shet (BJP) 5370 34.19
Zantye Pravin (INC) 4890 31.13
Pilgaonkar Milind Tulsidas (MGP) 4590 29.22
Fadte Prakash Jagannath (UGDP) 858 5.46
Total Valid Votes 15708 100.00
Lead Margin 480

17-Pale- Goa
No. of Electors 23559
Polling Stations 26
No. of Contestants 6
Polling %age 78.94

Gurudas Prabhakar Gauns (INC) 7768 41.77
Amonkar Suresh Kuso (BJP) 6177 33.21
Gawas Shamba (MGP) 4032 21.68
Christopher Fonseca (CPI) 291 1.56
Dessai Bhimrao Dajisaheb (Ind) 201 1.08
Paetkar Lavu Gurunath (ShivSena) 129 0.69
Total Valid Votes 18598 100.00
Lead Margin 1591

18-Poriem- Goa

No. of Electors 23252
Polling Stations 30
No. of Contestants 3
Polling %age 77.94

Rane Pratapsingh Raoji (INC) 10605 58.52
Vassudeo Ramnath Parab (BJP) 6869 37.90
Rane Rajendra Narayanrao (MGP) 648 3.58

Total Valid Votes 18122 100.00
Lead Margin 3736

19-Valpoi- Goa

No. of Electors 17669
Polling Stations 20
No. of Contestants 3
Polling %age 79.25

Rane Vishwajit Pratapsingh (Ind) 8590 61.35
Gaonkar Puti (BJP) 5041 36.00
Adv. Rohidas Sada Gonkar (MGP) 371 2.65
Total Valid Votes 14002 100.00
Lead Margin 3549


South

20-Ponda- Goa
No. of Electors 37068
Polling Stations 36
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 66.25

Naik Ravi (INC) 9972 40.61
Mamledar Lavoo (MGP) 8316 33.86
Khandeparkar Sandeep (BJP) 5940 24.19
Dias Santan (JDS) 329 1.34
Total Valid Votes 24557 100.00
Lead Margin 1656

21-Priol- Goa
No. of Electors 26635
Polling Stations
No. of Contestants 7
Polling %age 77.92

Dhavalikar Pandurang @ Deepak MGP 10591 51.03
Satarkar Vishwas (BJP) 6266 30.19
Jalmi Kashinath (INC) 3099 14.93
Gaude Sham (CPI) 324 1.56
Naik Rohidas Ind 196 0.94
Naik Uday (Shivsena) 169 0.81
Pramod Naik JDS 108 0.52
Total Valid Votes 20753 100.00
Lead Margin 4325

22-Marcaim- Goa
No. of Electors 24750
Polling Stations 28
No. of Contestants 5
Polling %age 77.49

Dhavalikar Ramkrishna Alias
Sudin Madhav (MGP) 12141 63.30
Govind Gaude (INC) 4532 23.63
Sadanand Naik (BJP) 1647 8.59
Ramchandra Govind Naik Mule Ind 549 2.86
Hanumant Vasant Naik Ind 310 1.62
Total Valid Votes 19179 100.00
Lead Margin 7609

23-Siroda- Goa
No. of Electors 25791
Polling Stations 31
No. of Contestants 3
Polling %age 77.17

Mahadev Naik (BJP) 9725 48.86
Shirodkar Subhash Ankush (INC) 9476 47.61
Khedekar Yeshwant Uttam (MGP) 701 3.52
Total Valid Votes 19902 100.00
Lead Margin 249

24-Mormugao- Goa
No. of Electors 28904
Polling Stations 27
No. of Contestants 8
Polling %age 61.16

Naik Milind Sagun (BJP) 7769 43.95
Vaz Giovanni Karl (INC) 5363 30.34
Shaikh Mohammed Eqbal (SGF) 2593 14.67
Metti Siddappa JDS 918 5.19
Sanjay Vasant Satardekar MGP 449 2.54
Parulekar Ravindra Vasant Ind 276 1.56
Yusuf Sheikh Ind 169 0.96
Kandu Narayan RamchandraRPI (A) 141 0.80
Total Valid Votes 17678 100.00
Lead Margin 2406

25-Vasco Da Gama- Goa
No. of Electors 32167
Polling Stations 27
No. of Contestants 9
Polling %age 59.32

D Souza Jose Philip (NCP) 7476 39.18
Arlekar Rajendra (BJP) 6864 35.97
Carlos J. L. Almeida JDS 3054 16.01
Rego Basilio Arnaldo UGDP 626 3.28
Servulo Barros MGP 279 1.46
Dhargawe Manisha Ind 253 1.33
Milton Barreto SGF 239 1.25
Kerkar Tara RPI(A) 216 1.13
Durbhatkar Jagdish (Shiv Sena) 73 0.38
Total Valid Votes 19080 100.00
Lead Margin 612

26-Cortalim- Goa
No. of Electors 34948
Polling Stations 34
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 63.45

Mauvin Heliodoro Godinho (INC) 9532 42.98
Mathany Saldanha (UGDP) 7850 35.40
Raymond Desa (SGF) 4452 20.08
Mallamma Bidari JDS 342 1.54
Total Valid Votes 22176 100.00
Lead Margin 1682

27-Loutulim- Goa

No. of Electors 22626
Polling Stations 22
No. of Contestants 3
Polling %age 65.69

Alexio Seqeira (INC) 6435 43.30
Fernandes Piedade Remegio SGF 4894 32.93
Dourado Pausilipo Eviaco EstivaoInd 3534 23.78
Total Valid Votes 14863 100.00
Lead Margin 1541

28-Benaulim- Goa
No. of Electors 23453
Polling Stations 24
No. of Contestants 3
Polling %age 66.83

Pacheco Xavier Francisco (NCP) 8092 51.63
John Fernandes SGF 7336 46.80
Theodore Fernandes Ind 246 1.57
Total Valid Votes 15674 100.00
Lead Margin 756

29-Fatorda- Goa
No. of Electors 32630
Polling Stations 26
No. of Contestants 6
Polling %age 60.73

Damodar (Damu) G. Naik BJP 7943 40.09
Vijay Sardessai INC 6172 31.15
Noronha Piedade Ind 3640 18.37
Ibrahim UGDP 804 4.06
Hazare Mahadev Narsinv MGP 793 4.00
Barretto Camilo SGF 463 2.34
Total Valid Votes 19815 100.00
Lead Margin 1771

30-Margao- Goa
No. of Electors 28142
Polling Stations 25
No. of Contestants 5
Polling %age 62.02

Kamat Digambar INC 9198 52.70%
Sharmad Raiturkar BJP 7170 41.08%
Jhonson Fernandes SGF 802 4.59%
Painginkar Sandeep MGP 162 0.93%
Palondikar M P (Babu)Ind 123 0.70%
Total Valid Votes 17455 100.00
Lead Margin 2028

31-Curtorim- Goa
No. of Electors 26552
Polling Stations 28
No. of Contestants 3
Polling %age 64.79

Aleixo Reginaldo Lourenco SGF 9320 54.18%
Sardinha Cosme Francisco C INC 7493 43.56%
Xavier Dias Ind 390 2.27%
Total Valid Votes 17203 100.00
Lead Margin 1827

32-Navelim- Goa
No. of Electors 34947
Polling Stations 36
No. of Contestants 3
Polling %age 65.79

Alemao Churchill SGF 13500 58.71%
Luizinho Faleiro INC 8996 39.12%
J. P. Coutinho UGDP 497 2.16%
Total Valid Votes 22993 100.00
Lead Margin 4504

33-Velim- Goa
No. of Electors 20405
Polling Stations 23
No. of Contestants 2
Polling %age 64.57

Rodrigues Filipe Nery (INC) 7965 60.45
Silva Benjamin (SGF) 5211 39.55
Total Valid Votes 13176 100.00
Lead Margin 2754

34-Cuncolim- Goa

No. of Electors 24150
Polling Stations 27
No. of Contestants 5
Polling %age 62.94

Alemao Joaquim (INC) 8909 58.62
Fernandes Jorson Piedade (UGDP) 3408 22.42
Gonsalves Milagres Methew (BJP) 1832 12.05
Rodrigues John J. (Ind) 758 4.99
Jerry Fernandes (Ind) 292 1.92
Total Valid Votes 15199 100.00
Lead Margin 5501

35-Sanvordem- Goa

No. of Electors 25553
Polling Stations 32
No. of Contestants 6
Polling %age 76.84

Anil Vasudev Salgaonkar (Ind) 10705 54.52
Vinay D. Tendulkar (BJP) 3782 19.26
Jog Jagadish Raghunath (MGP) 2957 15.06
Pradeep Tukaram Dessai (INC) 1766 8.99
Naresh Khusali Shigaonkar CPIM 275 1.40
Antao Menin Shivsena 149 0.76
Total Valid Votes 19634 100.00
Lead Margin 6923

36-Sanguem- Goa
No. of Electors 19677
Polling Stations 27
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 74.14
Gaonkar Vasudev Meng (BJP) 7754 53.15%
Minguelino D'Costa INC 5449 37.35%
Velip Anand MGP 963 6.60%
Alfred Fernandes Ind 422 2.89%
Total Valid Votes 14588 100.00
Lead Margin 2305

37-Curchorem- Goa
No. of Electors 28519
Polling Stations 30
No. of Contestants 7
Polling %age 70.32

Shyam G Satardekar (INC) 10628 52.99%
Dessai Ramrao Ghanashyam BJP 8729 43.53%
Rumaldo D'Costa (Ind) 201 1.00%
Khandekar Abhay Shambu JDS 173 0.86%
Gurudas Chandrakant Naik Ind 133 0.66%
Dessai Sapnesh Ganesh Ind 98 0.49%
Alexy Fernandes Ind 93 0.46%
Total Valid Votes 20055 100.00
Lead Margin 1899

38-Quepem- Goa
No. of Electors 28167
Polling Stations 34
No. of Contestants 5
Polling %age 75.47

Chandrakant Babu Kavalekar(INC) 9474 44.57%
Prakash Shankar Velip BJP 8311 39.10%
Pereira Raul SGF 2303 10.83%
Gaonkar Narayan Datta MGP 817 3.84%
Thulo Shanu Velip Ind 353 1.66%

Total Valid Votes 21258 100.00
Lead Margin 1163

39-Canacona- Goa
No. of Electors 20070
Polling Stations 24
No. of Contestants 4
Polling %age 75.51%
Pai Khot Vijay BJP 7577 50.00%
Bandekar Sanjay Vimal INC 6868 45.32%
Gracias Hemant BernardoSGF 464 3.06%
Fernandes Augustin L. UGDP 245 1.62%
Total Valid Votes 15154 100.00
Lead Margin 709

40-Poinguinim- Goa

No. of Electors 15604
Polling Stations 21
No. of Contestants 2
Polling %age 77.65

Tawadkar Ramesh (BJP) 6158 50.83%
Fernandes Isidore A (INC) 5958 49.17%

Total Valid Votes 12116 100.00
Lead Margin 200

Make Your Trip

You are given 1000 Rupees and asked to travel as far as you can for 15 days. Hitch a ride, beg for food, sing and dance for money. Do all you can but travel as far as you can get. If you think a ride like that one will be fun, you need to check this out

Indian Cricket Team needs Rajan Bala as coach

Here is a last ditch effort on my part, to pitch in for a rising star on the horizon of Indian cricket. From the looks of it, Dave Whatmore is set to take over the ruins (or reins?) of the Indian cricket team.

I have said what i am saying now in an earlier post. But this stupid blogger software keeps shoving it behind and further behind for some strange reason (behind in the archives i mean). We must not let Google and Blogger shove matters of national importance up Blogspot's behind.

Hence this post again for a man who needs no introduction. Because a mere introduction alone would not suffice. A man who has set precedents with his demeanour and class. A man who rightly deserves the Indian cricket team coach post but is not yet because as you all know, the forces of darkness are prevailing at the moment. The great Rajan Bala.

I strongly recommend Rajan Bala for the post of the coach of the Indian cricket team. Not without reason. But these are not the only reasons. There are countless unspeakable, inexpressible reasons that just are there deep in the trenches of every cricket lover's heart and butt. Here are a few obvious ones.

- He looks focussed. Our cricketers focus hard only at the crease, but Bala's gaze appears focussed all the time, as though he is expecting a Lasith Malinga bouncer from behind the curtains every minute of his life.

- His cricketing knowledge is better than anyone else living on planet earth in this century. Ask him any question, and he will reply with a good old Aussie anecdote.

- He heard it all when Vic Richardson took on Don Bradman, Trevor Hohns told Steve Waugh its time to pack up, Wally Hammond and Neville Cardus discussed eggs, and other instances like these. He may deny it, but i strongly feel his presence was the major motivating factor and source of strength and courage for conversation between them all.

- Greg Chappell text messages him at times. Batting tips will come from Greg, Under-arm bowling tips from Trevor, retirement tips from Ian, baseball glove buying tips from Greg's son Jon. So an all-round coach.

- His name is dangerous enough to scare the Indian players off any match-fixing aspirations.

- His bald dome poses less resistance to the absorption of new ideas and enhances the concept of an open mind.

- His pointed lips resemble those of Greg Chappell. Memories of sharp words for the Indian cricketers. The lips are the source of the tips and flips.

- His stare is very very unsettling, strong enough to unsettle any rival fielders fielding near the pavilion.

Some will argue that Bala has no cricketing experience. But he makes up for it with his sharp ears, his pointed lips, his bald dome, his clear voice, his steady gaze, his unsettling stare and his very underworld-don type name.

Its time to get behind him as one nation. As one body of one billion. Painted blue.

The Guys Rules

Another Ctrl C-Ctrl V post all lifted from an email from Brian.

Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Our rules.

• Men are NOT mind readers.
  

• Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
  

• Crying IS blackmail.
  

• Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  

• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  

• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  

• A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
  

• Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
  

• If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
  

• If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  

• You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  

• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  

• Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions & neither do we.
  

• ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
  

• If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  

• If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
  

• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
  

• Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as cricket, soccer, gadgets or software.
  

• You have enough clothes.

Reality tonic

A young doctor at AIIMS harassed because he was not born into a high caste family - here

And this mother who wanted to kill her severely retarded fifteen year old son - here

The Metro Files

I am a fan of reality. So most Bollywood movies are not my thing. Unless they are startlingly real. If i make a movie, the unknown and the ordinary person, born in a rugged home, slogged all his life to earn a living, loved by his family, and died a death in oblivion will be the star. There will be no dancers in colourful skimpy clothes, no happy endings, no death defying action scenes, no multiple extra marital affairs, no palatial mansions, no huge families, no million dollar business deals and the sort.

Movies for me happen only when friends get together. I have a few things to say on the movie called "Life in a Metro". Yeah, that is the name.



Its a movie about seven Mumbai dwellers who seek love and acceptance as they wholeheartedly devote themselves to their dreams. It tells everyone that people in the metros sleep around. Silly actually. Because in India, we have no such thing as sex. Its immoral. Judging by how things are going, someday sex will be banned for good. But then in movies, they have sex. So if you are in a village or remote town, and have been sleeping with the buffaloes and the cows till now, you have to progress to the next stage. Move to the metro.

The Shiney Ahuja - Shilpa Shetty angle is good. Shiney is this divorcee who finds a great friend in a married Shilpa plagued by a cheating husband in Kay Kay Menon. Shiney and Shilpa do not end up together. Thank God for that. I mean happy endings are good, but happy endings are not always real. In real life, shit happens. Life is unpredictable. Shiney is one of those guys whose acting skills are as good as his looks. But he cant beat Kay Kay and Irrfan Khan in the acting department.

Irrfan is this 38 year old who has been shunned by the female community and left untouched in all his virgin glory only to picked up by Konkona Sen Sharma, who habitually gets attracted to closet gay men in movies. Irrfan is a brave dude. He races on a horse in Mumbai traffic but that bit is trivial compared to what follows. He enters the ladies compartment of a Mumbai train to hug Konkona. I think he could have waited outside. Oh and by the way, can 60 women packed in a ladies compartment, all smile and clap with both hands? For one thing, its hard to get 2 women to agree to something. But in the movie, they will do anything to make some happy endings happier.

Kangana Ranaut - > girl you are distracting. Its hard to focus on the movie when Kangana looks this good. That run through the streets in the end was fun :-) She dumps Kay Kay, her boss, for Sharman Joshi who is the proud keeper of the only empty flat in Mumbai.

Why do Dharmendra and Nafisa Ali take so long to get out of bed? I know Dharmendra is 71 and Nafisa will be 60 in August and senility may be setting in, but still, i think they took way too long. Most kitchens in Panjim restaurants close at 3.00 pm, and no amount of explaining the perils of senility can get the restaurants to delay their kitchen closing time. Anyways we did get lunch in the end. If Nafisa had died a little later, maybe we might not have.

What is it about some people who watch movies by getting so absorbed by them? It feels like they are inside the movie. They watch it with open mouths. The mouth gets opened wider and wider as the movie progresses. So wide, it feels like they are out to swallow the screen. Any screen where you can spot the nose hair in the actors is not small. Its like watching a tennis match and turning your head side to side as you catch up with the words emanating from the character on the left and the one on the right. A nudge is not enough to bring the lost souls back to reality. You can eat their popcorn and they wont notice. Sometimes its good to shake them for half a minute till they come back to reality and tell them its just acting. Its not real. Remember playing house as a kid and playacting. A bit like that. I had to remind Kunal in the middle of Rang de Basanti that the gun shots and the deaths was all acting. That guy gets inside the movie. I thought he would run to the screen and start shooting at the police officers with an umbrella or a pen for a gun. Thankfully, no gunshots in this movie.

Topi - Thats the Hindi word for cap. Thats also what they call a condom in the movie - A Topi. Is there a Hindi word for condom? I am not sure, but i have a feeling i have figured out the reason for our burgeoning population. Imagine this conversation between A and B

A - Mere 7 bacche hai. (I have seven kids)
B - Accha? Topi nahin pahente kya? (Dont you wear a Topi?)
A - Paheni to thi. Phir bhi. Pata nahi kaise. (I do, but still happens. Dont know how.)
B - Mein toh Adidas topi pahenta hoon. Abhi tak kuch nahin hua. (I wear a Adidas Topi. Nothing happened as yet)

Some serious Reviews - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
The official site of the movie - here

Serious verdict - Watchable. Pretty realistic portrayals i would think.

Cricket Quiz - All the trivia buffs come on over

Send me an email with the answers.
Email Id in my profile.

• Educated in Lahore and Oxford, this multi-faceted cricketer scored a hundred at the SCG on his Ashes debut for England and later was employed in the Indian Foreign Service. Name him.
  

• Name the only Test cricketer to have won a Olympic hockey gold medal.
  

• Name any one Test Cricketer born in each of the following non-Test playing countries

1) Italy
2) Portugal
3) Hong Kong
4) Afghanistan
5) Malaysia
6) Mozambique
7) Swaziland
8) Peru
9) Egypt
10) Papua New Guinea
11) USA
12) Panama
13) Kenya
14) Zambia
15) Germany

• Name the only player to have appeared in Test matches in both rugby and cricket for New Zealand.
  

• He represented the West Indies in cricket and lawn-tennis, and also won the Trinidad & Tobago table-tennis singles title in 1949. Further to this, he also made it to the Trinidad & Tobago team in basketball and soccer. Name him.
  

• India has been served by two players both in hockey and Test cricket. Name them.
  

• Which Test cricketer has played soccer for both New Zealand and Australia?
  

• The son of which cricketer represented his country in Rugby U-17 and Test cricket?
  

• Which fast bowler was given the middle names Alexei and McNamara (after the Soviet and American politicians) by his father whose name was Kissinger? His sister is named Golda.
  

• Which Indian cricketer is also a fingerprint expert?
  

• The 1996 Wisden records say that "fried calamari stopped play" during a South African domestic match at Paarl in February 1995. What happened?
  

• Which country other than Australia did both Mark and Steve Waugh both represent?
  

• Who played against Brian Lara when he scored his 501 not out, and was West Indies' 12th man when he scored his 375?
  

• After having found a place in the Australin team as a wicketkeeper for the 1890 tour of England, this cricketer tells the management that he has never kept wickets before once the team had safely embarked on their voyage. Name him.
  

• Find a relation between the Toronto Blue Jays and the Indian cricket team with respect to the members.
  

• An accomplished cricketer and coach, he devised Zimbabwe's car registration system and his sister captained the Zimbabwe women's field hockey team which won the gold medal in the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow. Name him.
  

• Born two months prematurely and afflicted with meningitis when he was a few months old, he was given only a one in four chance of survival, but survive he did. However, although it was not realised for some time, he was left totally deaf by the disease. When he was four, he had an operation to regain his hearing. The operation was successful, but left him with terrible coordination difficulties. He was consequently some way behind his age group when he went to school. He worked as a installer of refrigeration and air conditioning units during this period of his career. He is related to a famous golfer. Name him.
  

• Which big hitting all rounder has the name of an island country for a middle name?
  

• She played 7 tests for Australia. Her brother played 41 Tests. Her husband has stood in 10 ODIs. Name her.
  

• When he took the wicket of Michael Vaughan in his debut test, he became the first bowler for his country to take a wicket in his first international over. He died in a motor accident and is now the youngest Test cricketer to have died. Who is he?
  

• Besides Graeme Hick, name the only other Test cricketer who was born in Zimbabwe but represented another country in tests.
  

• Dave Whatmore and Jehan Mubarak are related in some unique manner to Sri Lankan cricket. How?
  

• She was born in Canada, and played for Netherlands and New Zealand. Name her.
  

• He played football at under-18 level for Scotland, and cricket for three countries. Name him.
  

• Who is the the only known Test cricketer to have been executed?
  

• Clayton Lambert and Faoud Bacchus have played international cricket for the West Indies and also played for the USA. Name another West Indian ODI cricketer who now plays for the USA.
  

• Name the West Indies cricketer who has served as the Speaker of the House of Assembly and the President of the Board of Education in his country.